obrigadabrasil

final thoughts

2004-10-13T20:50:00.000-03:00

eu tenho que esperar por treis horas no aeropuerto. sigh.

i have to wait for about three hours in the airport before i leave for the US.
i can't believe i am going home. my life is still in transistion. while i will cherish the memories of the last two months, i ain't looking back.

my experience here has healed and rejuvenated my spirit. with this abundance of energy i am ready to move forward.

a few things i have learned about myself:

1. i can adapt to change

2. i am somebody (a la jesse jackson)

3. i am not afraid of the dark. i like the dark. makes you curiouser.

4. i am cute (especially in skirts)

5. i need ME time.

6. i can and should say "no" to people soaking up my energy; to wanting to buy thing just cause they are cheap; to hot boys (at least some of them). lol.

7. i can go anywhere i want to go

8. the further away i go the more i love the place from which i came.

meu deus! this place has been soooo good to me. it truly has. but i do not feel like i have to make brasil mine. brasil will never belong to me. it belongs to the brasilians. i think many people (including me) tend to want to make a city or a country there's becuase they had such a good time/experience when they were in that place.

i have been to several places that i wanted to make mine- london, den haag, paris, etc. but all this isn't necessary. i now believe that when you go to other places you can shake up your definitions of things, expand your boundaries. then embrace the new/modified realities you take back home with you and simply continue moving forward.

and that's exactly what i plan to do. :)

stay tuned for info on my foto album. if anybody knows how i can publish a bunch of photos for free online please let me know.

a few words on sao paolo

2004-10-13T20:14:00.000-03:00

erica and lili, my brasilian amigas back home, did not recommend sao paolo even though they are from here.

but i have enjoyed my little bit of time here. my ideas of things have definately been shaken up and stirred.

first of all the icy cold weather challenges the ideas i had about south america which had been synonmous with HOT. it's like forty freakin' degrees here. whew! i have seen photos of the ice-capped mountains and people in furs, but somehow i did not did not include these in my understanding of this continent.

so when i arrived here on monday evening i was shocked (and frost-bitten) to say the least. ok. i am exagerrating but the 40 degree weather is hurtin a sister.

nonetheless, i openly accepted the coolness as it seems appropriate in this very concrete-made city. to my knowledge sao paolo is a city's city. there is not a tourist element to it at all. all the guide books (lonely planet, fodor's, etc) say "why would you ever go to sao paolo." jk. they don't say that but they don't provide much help at all in finding things to do here.

paulostinos are very handsome. again, though, my ideas of south america (well, brasil) and its inhabitants, were challenged. here you see much more fair skin, dark brown hair (and some red and blonde hair). there are lots of tall people including women. like really tall (i have seen women 6'1 or more). this is not to say that i think most people from south america are short. i know that i, at 5'11, am pretty much a giant anywhere i go on this planet. it was just odd for me to be in a place where the average height is more than 5'4. maybe like 5'7 or 5'8 which is a big difference.

it was also interesting to see so many asians who were clearly brasilian identified. a couple of years ago i saw a movie about a group of people living in japan who were descendents of japanese who had moved to brasil for work but later returned "home." hard to explain. but the point is i knew there was big population of japanese and other asians here in brasil, especially sao paolo. but actually being here experiencing their presence so to speak made me actually consider that the US is not the only "melting pot" in the world. in fact, we are not nearly as diverse as many other places.

i feel like the paulostinos are friendly- on the whole. most descriptions from erica, lili, the guidebooks say that these people are cold and unaffected. but i have had many people greet me with a smile or even a bit of conversation. the only coldness i felt besides the brisk winds was on the metro where the masses move like somber heards of cattle. this is like the 3rd largest city in the world.

a couple of hours before we were to leave i went out on my own to do some last minute guilt shopping. i happened upon this tiny jewelry store, luna accessories. totally my type of jewelry, eclectic and cheap!

the curly redhead was very cool. she let me try on everything and was cool when i bought like 1/8th of it (still a lot) . she was sad that i was leaving. in portuguese she said to me, "why did you come so late and leave so soon? you must return to sao paolo so we can go dancing. here's my card."

how can you not love this place!?!

rio II

2004-10-13T19:48:00.000-03:00

8-8-04

ah rio. on friday me and O went to meet her professor. he is getting paid to be in rio and write a paper. must be nice. he is writing about neighborhoods that are inclusive vs. exclusive. it is apparently a very big subject in cities like rio and probably places like new york, london, etc. yawn.

he and his family are nice though. another history professor joined us for "ice cold" beer at this well known spot, Cervantes. me and history professors. well, the wife is a fellow attorney. so, that helped a lot, even though she was often occupied with their five month old baby. and the conversation actually focused on me. these people that study old stuff were completely fascinated by the on-line mediation work that i do. it was soooooo weird having people listen to me and ask all kinds of thoughtful questions. talk about the tables being turned.

that night my crew (me, o, and j) enjoyed a dinner at this fancy french restaurant, Olympé. in a word, OHMYGOD!!! it was freaking amazin!

we had such good food. parmesan scallops, escargot something or other, chocolate cake, banana tart, my favorie red wine (amarone), and lots of caipirinhas. holla! if you ever good to rio, please eat at Olympé. it ain't cheap. but it is so worth it.

afterwards, the now tipsy crew went to Lapa, which is another area of rio. i have no clue where it is geographically. but it is the area for going out. or so they say.

there were, in fact, lots of people out. but we couldn't seem to connect with the local energy. a lot of people were either really young/silly or just boring. nuthin like the snoop dogg video.

saturday was pretty uneventful. i worked for a couple of hours in a cold but cool (lol) bookstore. and i hung out with jason in barra. he bravely took the really long walk with me in search of harley davidson. man, we walked a long ass time. we finally found it, but it was closed. just closed thought. so that means i had to put my sweet talking in effect. it worked. the heavily armed hired security guy open the gates and let us in. it was kinda funny seeing the tan brown versions of my cousins and parents talking harley talk (i guess) in portugeuse. my mission was to purchase some harley rio t-shirts for my mother, daddy, cousin myrtle and cousin wilbert. no luck. the shirts they had wouldn't fit my finger. hopefully i will have luck in sao paolo. keep your fingers crossed! that night we had dinner at the copacabana hotel. very victorian. very old fashioned. afterwards we stood outside of HELP. this is a very, very famous club where anyone who wants to get their freak on in rio must go. we saw soooooooo many johns and their "dates." i am not drawing conclusions either. it was very obvious what was going on. i wish we woulda went in.

sunday i worked so more. then we went to the museum of contemporary art. or modern art. the kind that is hard to figure out. it was actually pretty neat though. the building looked like slabs of concrete in the shape of a long tee-pee. afterwards we went to the mall.

you know you are american if you going to another country and seek refuge (or at least a good time) in the mall. lol. we saw stepford wives. it's actually pretty funny.

when we returned to the hotel there were some american guys standing outside. we introduced ourselves and chatted a bit. one of the guys runs tours for this art gallery, http://www.octobergallery.com/.

it's was pretty funny exchanging salvador stories with them. we went our seperate ways, but then decided to follow them (without their knowledge). can you say high school? it was actually pretty funny and they were ok with our impromptu stalking. we went out for drinks and talked the most random things from music. i liked one of the guys and he lives in atl. but of course i don't have any game. so, i didn't give him my info when we said our goodbyes. oh well.

tomorrow we leave for sao paolo.

rio I

2004-10-13T19:24:00.000-03:00

this entry (and all those after this) were written a long time ago. i had obstacles to gain access to the internet while in rio and sao paolo. then i got lazy. lol. but finally i am posting them.

August 7, 2004-- we (O and i) arrived in rio on thursday morning. i had no desire to come here. however, jason (my buddy from law school) wanted to visit me and he insisted that we meet in rio.

my initial plan was to travel down to rio solo. but somehow my inquiry for info on rio turned into an invitation to O. i am still trying to figure that one out. normally i am comfortable facilitating connections between friends from different groups. but i think it is usually a good idea not to do so when travelling. but O was travelling to Rio and she was very excited about joining me.

sidenote: i like O. she is a very smart person. she is also a closet freak, which makes her fun at times. but she is not a "fun" leader. meaning her lack of "fun" energy puts the burden on me to find the fun. does this make any sense? anyway.

the cab driver from the airport ripped us off. he charged the "normal" set fee. which came out to about $30!!! meu deus. he also tried to bait us into going to a different hotel. now already i am paranoid about rio. i mean i didn't see that movie "city of god", but i have heard about some crazy things going on here. just like any big city. cab guy told us that our hotel was next to a favela. a favela is like a big community of homemade homes. they have a bad rap in brasil. but they are plentiful indeed. so i told him that were lived in salvador for the past two months and were very familiar with favelas. which is true.

when he dropped us off at he failed to point out the favela. big fat liar!!!

we had reservations at mar ipanema in the muito famous area of ipanema. the hotel is pretty standard. no frills. very small living quarters. but whatever. it is only $45 a night each. after unpacking we took a very scenic cab ride up to barra de tijuca where jason's hotel is. the road out to barra reminds me of the blue ridge parkway (which is a scenic road through the blue ridge mountains in virginia, nc, tennessee, and georgia.) very, very beautiful. you can see the big blue ocean with white waves crashing against the often rocky coast line. there's all sorts of little oddly shaped mountains in the ocean and on land. not as many people out on the beach as i imagined. in fact. the beaches were virtually empty. but it is winter.

barra is a very wealthy area of rio. it kinda jolted me to see modern, fancy homes and hotels as you don't see this in salvador.

jason's hotel is very nice and modern. it has been two years since i last saw him (law school graduation). but we usually keep in touch all the time and i feel like we had no feelings of awkwardness. for O it was love at first sight. but that is all guys.

we ate lunch in the restaurant in jason's hotel. then took a walk along the beach. rio's beaches are very wide with lots of sand. then there is a big wide sidewalk between the road and the beach. this is for pedestrians and folks on bicycles. pretty cool.

later in the afternoon we went up Pao de Acucar. better known by gringos as sugarloaf mountain. it was pretty damn scary going up in a heavy cart on a light string. but at least it was quick. lol.

from the top you can see a lot of rio. copacabana. ipanema. tons of favelas. the marina. the sun was setting and the water appeared golden. jesus (the statue of) was way across the city on top of an even taller mountain. even with my super zoom (10x) i was only able to get a small version of him along with some radio towers that are located to his left. lol.

2004-08-26T02:53:00.000-03:00

http://www.shutterfly.com/view/picture_dt.jsp?state=67b0de219870668c152e&idx=18" alt="Example" />

damn it!

2004-08-09T23:15:00.000-03:00

i am annoyed b/c i am deprived of proper internet access. i only have two minutes

LOL. i am laughing at this paolostino (sp?) who is rapping in english.

anyway, in sao paolo now. so far, i love it. it is a big city with lots of cool things. sigh. tomorrow i have to find the harley davidson dealership for my parents and cousin myrtle and wilbert. hopefully they like big people here too. lol.

one minute. rio was good. i was totally lazy. and i feel bad b/c jason came all the way there to visit me. thanks j.

but whatever, i still had a nice time. i can´t believe how amazing this country is. i also cant believe i will be home soon. gotta

sete minutos

2004-08-07T16:45:00.000-03:00

i am on a timer here. so, this blog will be short although i have a lot to say. hol-la!

i am in rio de janeiro (pronounced HEE-yoh day JAH-nerro). o and i arrived on thursday. and then we met up with my law school playmate, jason.

ooh. five minutes left. meu deus!

few words on rio:

ABSOLUTELY beautiful city. non-uniform mountains sprouted out in the middle of a tropically urban city.

UNAFFECTED cariocas (sp?). the people here are true city goers. no more friendly hellos from strangers

AGGRESSIVE cab drivers

DELICIOUS weather and views.

gotta run. more later.

country living, city dwelling

2004-08-02T10:50:00.000-03:00

preface: my keyboard has a sticky spacebar. so, this post may be weird.

woke up this morning around 7am. i checked my watch and thought it was too early to be milling around in my new space. so, i laid around for 44minutes more. then i got up. re-organized my hastily packed suitcase. i did a very good job.

sidenote: this computer has headphones. so i have tuned into BBC online radio. lovely indeed.

O went to the store for fresh eggs, cheese, and bread. when she returned, she scrambled up some bacon-cheese omelets. meanwhile, i handwashed some laundry on back porch. i smiled as i inhaled the morning fragances of detergent, bacon, coffee. i also soaked in the surreal environment. there i was in a highrise apartment scrubbing clothes while my amiga was making a practically straight from the farm breakfast and while a rooster was cock-a-doodle-doing across the way in another highrise apartment building.

and the sun is shining today. it has been masked by clouds for the last few days. so, we will be going to the beach this afternoon. yipeee!

greedy

2004-08-01T18:36:00.000-03:00

a couple of negotiation tips from mabi:
1. always know before hand what your ideal solution is and what your "bottom-line" is.
2. anticipate the other party´s bottom line, their ideal, and their exaggeration.
3. NEVER-EVER (pronounced loudly= nevuh evah!) go against your "bottom-line" because once you do, you have lost all credibility.
4. know a little about the other party and show some respect.
5. never let them see you sweat.

i have four days left in salvador. but my lease ended today. i thought staying a few days extra would be no problemo. but, my slumlord´s intermediary, C, told me i must come talk to her about this. sigh. so, i went to C´s agency to negotiate a four day stay in the apartment.

as expected C started out with all this mess about high season. "lots of italians coming to the area. three other people waiting for the apartment." note: it´s always three people are waiting. she said she negotiated the BEST deal for me. said she was "firm" with slumlord. blah blah blah. i sat and grinned at her, because i knew all this bullshit was coming. then she told me that i would keep the same rate. sounds good. not.

she explained my rate, for example was R$1300 for the month of july. same rate for august per C´s explanation. but instead of determining the daily rate by dividing by 31 days she divided by the number of days i was staying (well, actually 17 because my friend wanted to stay 13 days after i left). now, i am not a math-magician, but this doesn´t add up correctly. it´s like twice as much or more.

so, i pointed this out to her. we disagreed. she reminded me of the three italians waiting for the place. i leaned back in my chair and told her that she obviously has a better deal on deck and so do i. ;)

then she calls my slumlord (via phone), who was actually just down the hall from my apartment. go figure. they talk. more BS. i received two bottom lines. two.

now i naturally want to become indignant because this is all unnecessary. and i felt like they were taking me for a fool. must. stay. calm.

so I smile and say "hey, if you have three Italians waiting to pay more, you should go with them because I am not paying any more than i have been paying."

even if i would have been paying more at my plan b (i.e. the dollhouse), i would not have given them another dime on principle. truth is, slumlord and co. will have an empty apartment. there is no "italian" waiting. they got greedy and tried to shaft me. busters.

unfortunately, the dollhouse (my first digs here in salvador) was completely occupied. but O had my back. she asked her hostess to put me up for the next four nights. and she agreed. hol-la. i have now moved over to Torroro (toh-doh-DOH) for the final nights here. older, quaint apartment. $10 US a day. warm welcome and company.

cachoeira

2004-08-01T11:31:00.000-03:00

i am sitting at the internet café cracking up. sundays i have to work at "gringo café" as i call it, because my cheaper spot is closed. anyway, i just noticed this poster of a poem by a guy named Damario D.

now, i was in damario´s home (in another city) yesterday and didn´t know he was so important that business establishments would have posters of his work displayed. lol. in fact, being the ass that i am, i was laughing and poking fun at him just yesterday. he is, in fact, one of the most dramatic people i have ever met.

you almost want to just pull the words out of his mouth because his dramatic pauses are too frequent. his inflective way of speaking forces listeners to lean in for understanding only to jump back in surprise/shock/consuion because he has, for example, just informed you that a window in his house was inspired by 19th century sexual practises of whites and blacks in brasil.

very weird cat. how did i meet him?

well, O and i made the bumpy, two-hour bus trip over to Cachoeira on saturday. there we met up with these two unversity students, luciana and lucia. O and luciana met a few weeks ago- future historians. immediately we were swept into the hazy reality of this small town. first there was the saturday market where you can buy a little bit of everything- pig intestines, handmade sandals, cloves, earrings, cow parts. lucia, a native of cachoeira, introduced us to a lady selling beans. she had never met Black people from america before. she told us that she did not believe that Black people lived in america.

"(gasp) gringas pretas!?!?! não! imposible!", she exclaimed, all the while rubbing my face.

before we walked on she hugged us real tight and told us that she was proud of us.

we walked through a straight up meat market. both disgusting and amazing. the amazing part was that the workers were in wearing flip flops and regular clothes and just a´leaning by the meat. not the sanitary set up to which i am accustomed.

after the market we began our stroll through town. i missed the kodak moment of my life. three little chocolate boys on donkeys (basket saddles and whipping sticks, the works) racing through the town center. while fumbling for my camera, i stared at the little boys, astonished. grinning ear to ear. this only made the leader of the pack whip the donkey more as he politely (but seriously) tilted his head to me.

my mama tells me i am a slow shooter when it comes to photography. she´s right.

we visited the "irmandade de nossa senhora da boa morte", sisterhood of our lady of good death.

from the New York Times:
***
The Boa Morte sisterhood was founded in the early 19th century, ostensibly with purely religious intentions to pray for the dead and to provide decent funerals for its members. In fact, the members also intended to preserve African traditions and to free slaves, either by helping them escape or by earning money to buy their freedom.
***

their history is deep. i literally got chills being in their space.

we strolled some more. pausing every few minutes so that lucía could greet people. she knows everybody. and when she introduced us to her friends she would say in portugeuse "and this is my friend O---, the name of my fourth child." LOL! she has no children so far. but... .

lunch was at a very tight little spot. we had a feast of chicken, fish, pinto beans, rice, mixed veggies, and coke. lucía and lucíana were dumbfounded when i told them this was a meal my very southern-american daddy would cook. and, true to their nature, our starving students killed their food. as our heavy lunch settled, we sat back relished the fact that we were all very educated women doing what we WANT to do.

then we went to Damarío´s place. the first floor is an art gallery/cafe/cd shop. go figure. lucía made us some cappucino and we rested. suddenly, damario (who had not previously introduced himself) told us he wanted us to see the rest of his house. and so began an involuntary tour. lol. he led us with his antique sword, which he explained was used by reverse-kkk members. huh? some guys who would dress up in black and kill slave masters (who were also their fathers) and free slaves. uh, ok.

each room, he said, was inspired by a different artist i.e. picasso, kahlo. i personally didn´t see the relationships. he also threw in random info about sex. not in a perverse way. somehow all of this information related to his house that he wanted us to see. oddly enough, this girl i met in salvador was there with her friend. small world. it was very difficult for us to behave. very. difficult. it was fun though.

our visit was not all fun and games though. to catch the bus back to salvador we had to hike across the river into sao felix. the old wooden bridge that connects the to towns is for every moving thing including people, trains, cars, donkeys, and wheel barrows. did i mention that it is old and wooden? i slowly crossed with much trepidation all the while contemplating how to manage panic swimming. i let out several squeals. prayed a lot. especially when the train passed by me. thankfully it was going very slow. i made it across safely. and we made it back to salvador safely. definately a worthwhile trip.

dinner was at a mexican restaurant in a posh neighborhood. it was wierd being around snooty people again. the food was ok. i miss mexican food and i got my fix with the sour cream and refried beans.

i leave salvador on thursday morning. and i have tons of stuff to do. pack. clean. buy cheap gifts (lol). change my plane ticket. send postcards that were written almost two months ago. take all the photos i have not taken. and, of course, go out.

girlfriends

2004-07-30T09:39:00.000-03:00

i am so thankful to have met some cool buddies with whom to hang out in Salvador. They have all inspired me, introduced me, interpreted for me, blah blah blah.

BUT...

i needs my space. nowadays, my girlfriends want to hang all the freaking time. não. this means "uh, no."

one of them will tell me that she will just show up at my place today. for what? we didnt make any plans. what you coming to mine for. I have to work. i have to relax. i need to by all by myself.

last night R and i met up to go to jorge's dress rehearsal. we missed it. so, i'm going to go home and go to bed. não. R wants to walk around campo grande and eat pipoco (popcorn). then R wants to come to my house to borrow my pliers. it's 11pm. ok. come get the pliers.

"oh, maybe i will just sleep on your couch."

por que. why. you LITERALLY live around the corner from me. you have a sizeable apartment to yourself. i am 28. you are 38. no slumber party.

but of course, I say, "hmm." this is my answer when i dont want to answer. hmm.

this hepher is still on my couch asleep and i am at the "office."

and last night my new girlfriend (S) tricked me into dinner. lol. i am so dramatic. i dont know the lady. we met at the internet cafe. have only exchanged a few words. then she starts talking about the good pasta at this place. on and on. i'm thinking "hmm. she wants me to say let's go get some. she is hinting around." i don't say anything. then she finally asks me to go to dinner with her. she's pregnant and visiting salvador with her two year old. so, i go to dinner with her.

then there is my friend who works at the cafe. i swear she asks me a billion questions everyday. and i don't understand most of them. she shows me photos on the computer. ask me how to work the computer. it's sweet. but given my overload of girlfriends, it is annoying at times.

i have been a stalker girlfriend before in my life. i am sure. i remember as a child always wanting to hang with tammy. i would ride Pink Thunder, my huffy, up to tammy's house every morning. and every afternoon. and every evening. until the street lights would come on. then i would call her on the phone.

so, it's all good though, right?

Chandi Guestblogs

2004-07-28T16:40:00.000-03:00

It is me. Chandi. Do let me grace your ears with an ode to Salvador.

You all might know that I love me some author of obrigadabrasil. Love her from the top of my real hair, through my fake fake ponytails, through my synapses and veins, to the bottom of my formerly aching feet. It was my great pleasure to meet her in such a locale as Salvador. Before I got on my plane on Thursday, July 15th, I was suffering. See, I did not know that I was suffering. Suffering from over-stimulation, lack of apprecation (me of others, others of me), physical burnout, slightly oppressive self-consciousness...and more. Salvador, even if temporarily, cured me. No more nerve ending twinges - no creeping headaches - no aching feet in the morning - I am refreshed. I touched down in Salvador. I spotted my very, very tanned, beloved friend, ecstatic, waiting for me. She deftly negotiated in some very very competent porteugese, our arrival back to porto de barra and the start of some good southern healing.

This is why, you too, should go to Salvador. I am 29 years old, but I have never had a completely relaxing vacation. Childhood doesn't count - I was angry for not being independent then. Even when I went with M to her parents' spot in the Sea Islands of South Carolina, I was making photo albums, writing post cards, watching T.V. - being a busy lady. Well, as I looked out the 10 foot by 8 foot window of the apartment living room, wide open, to see the sea - I chilled. 5 floors up, air that kisses your skin, no mobile phone, no home phone, no planner, no real appointments, a t.v. but one that was almost never on, I let my mind rest. You can do that in Salvador. It is okay. As Jill would say, "no jacket, no umbrella, just warm." You cannot help but smile in Salvador.

And the people. I read in some academic journal, a comparison between race politics in the U.S. and Brazil. The author called the U.S. system one of segregation and exclusion, while the Brazilian system was called one of integration and domination. Having said that, without analyzing how domination takes form, and while I believe that Brazil has the capacity to be appreciative of all people, as a person of color, I just felt...right. Being American probably let me close my eyes to some of the ills of oppression, which I know exist. Before giving myself away with my non-portugese speaking self, I was able to flow with life in Salvador. No turned heads, no questions asked. I belonged. No need to worry about my tummy pouching out - no need to contemplate my semi-permed natural hair, and my completely kinky purchased attached ponytail - I fit right in. No need to hurry my gait, no need to navigate stares that say "ooh, you are exotic, you are a black person, here." Nope, the only stares were occasional ones of appreciation - of atavistic recognition. Stares that say "you are just like me. haven't we met before? maybe we can meet now." And the words. Well, I don't speak porteugese, but I know I didn't hear disparagement or filth. Other cultures might be extravagant in compliments, but how can you not appreciate hearing "beleza," and the walker keeps walking. You don't get called a bitch if you don't answer. You brush up against an unsuspecting sister on the street, it's all good - a smile and a "descupe" from both parties, and everyone keeps walking. Maybe southern manners are the norm everywhere - being warm must keep people acting nice.

And how good is it to see what looks like a hip-hop crowd, shaking their hips and picking up their feet to live samba... hours on end. One sister grabs your hand, you join the circle, you shake, you laugh. For a minute, your mind doesn't get it. And why are all the Black boys called Luis, Lauzaro, Hernando, Sergio, Ronaldo? I'm like what - but shouldn't your name be...Joe. Or Rasheed. Huh? Nope. I say to self - Chandi, relax your mind - this is Salvador. Isso, Chandi. This is Salvador. And as the clerk at the local grocer asks for a second form of id for my credit card (cause hey, they are the bomb, and I can pay with my credit card - go development), and I am like what, I don't have other id with me - and then she looks at my name - hears my non-port speaking self and says (I am told by M) "oh, that MUST be YOUR name." I get it. Here, my name is not the norm - Black people here don't have names like Chandi - I have to relax my mind, don't I. Cause, I, thanks to people who love me, am in Salvador.

Here in Salvador, you eat food that is a true cross betweenWest African fried mashed black eye peas in palm oil and African American rice and gravy. You gaze at architecture that rivals the most beautiful in the world - you stroll on cobblestone - okay, not in mules with pointy heels - but do as the Salvadorans do, and put on your flip-flops - you'll be fine. I can choose to challenge myself with capoiera - or lay on the beautiful wooden sofa with lovely cushion and stare at the sea for hours on end. You laugh and play with grown people - who know that it is okay to laugh and play. Late for lunch - no problem. Beijos all around. Want two kisses? Muah, muah. (and an extra squeeze, just because you are so cute)

Here in Salvador, your new friends blow peanut skins off the peanuts for you, warm the naked peanuts in their hand, and then present them to you. Antiseptic American, you thank them "obrigada" and toss them away. while they are not looking. (cause my mind was not quite that relaxed.) Your new friends, name unknown, share their 40 ozs of watery beer. :-) In little plastic swish cups. In club hole in the wall. With one light bulb dangling precariously, while the band, man with tiny guitar and all, play from their souls. And you say "obrigada." And soak it all in. And when your new friend who has driven you to club whole in the wall says - "Agencia va" (We the people, we go - because we in Salvador, is always we the people) and it is raining. You do - and you don't worry about your sleek, lovely ponytail attachment getting drenched - you beatbox in the streets, hold hands with your girls, take off your shoes. And say "obrigada brasil - obrigada."

sex shop

2004-07-27T16:43:00.000-03:00

sexy shoppee.

my new internet cafe is far cheaper than the other one. only 2 reals (60 cent)/hour. and it is right across the street from my flat.

it is also next to and closely related to Barra´s one sex shop. the shop is called "free sex". lol.

i am cool with this and the fact that i sometimes have to go next door to pay. other patrons are a lil confused if not scurred. if no one is attending the four computers in the internet cafe, i will tell the person to pay next door. "paga a lado." A LADO!?!. then they go and stand in front of the heavily tinted door. or just sit and wait and wait.

"ta bom. ta bom, amigo." that´s my broken portugeuse for "it´s all good, friend. go ahead inside and pay." lol.

ouch!!!

2004-07-27T16:16:00.000-03:00

after a spontaneous lunch with raquel, she escorted me to her salon for some treatments. (read: my feet are crunk!).

in addition to the huge, unnecessary expense for attending the beauty salon in the states, it IS most definately too much work. that is why i normally only step into a salon every three months to let gilda console my curls with scissors or to pick up some much-loved Rusk Being Wild (a must for curly-headed peoples).

but, the cost is different here. and my feet are crunk. and i realized this morning that my eyebrows are...unruly.

two hours of pure de hell!!! the ladies were so nice. and i enjoyed listening speak in sing-song about who knows what. but the sitting still killed me. and the plucking of the fro-brows just damn near made me cry. i felt like she was digging in my skin laterally. no sense a´tall.

i said to her "vocé entende 'ouch'?" (do you understand 'ouch'?) she just giggled at me and pulled my head back again. ewww.

fortunately there is no post-plucking pain. jeebus!

suprise party

2004-07-27T16:01:00.000-03:00

did i spell that correctly?

my friends and i were literally invited off the streets to join a birthday party on thursday. hee-larious.

i think the hosts saw me peeking in and admiring the festivities. i am sooooo nosey. so, they insisted that we come in. we came in and joined the fun. they had videoke (kareoke on video). food and drinks were abundant as were the smiles and friendly english conversations. lol.

too bad we were returning from a restaurant. i was so full and could only sip on a cold beer. BUT, baianas are extra friendly. while waiting for the toilet one of the hostesses approached me with a plate of maqueca and rice. "oh, no. i am soo full." well, i tried to communicate this. she asked me why i didn´t want any as she stuffed a fork full of food in my mouth. ok. guess i am eating maqueca and rice anyway.

everybody was so happy. almost everyone came up to each of us and introduced themselves. a couple of people made sure we knew what was being said. lol. when they sang the brasilian birthday song, i had to join in. i dont know the words so i did the la la version of it. you know where you just kind let out sounds that sound like what is actually being said. no body knows the difference if you clap your hands and sing at the top of your lungs like i did.

***to the USDA rep, thank you so much for the info on ox. i mean damn! i am dancing to the remake of "voulez vous"/lady marmelade just for you. ;)

futébol!!!!

2004-07-26T19:56:00.000-03:00

anyone who has been to brasil knows how very very important futébol (pronounced footchy-bol) is to this country. (aka soccer) i mean the world literally stops when the national team is playing.

i watched the last two games starring the national team in the american cup. talk about exciting. mind you these were me 1st and second soccer games ever. i have attended a couple but i didnt really watch them (sorry lil sis).

wow. it is hard not to watch because the players look so damn good! and soccer is also very fluid and timely. no commercials here. no "strategic" time outs. just play ball. and, at least in latin america, the players take care of each other regardless of what team you play for and such. they are all kind and hug. i think i could actually write an article on competitive negotiation with an emphasis on kindness" based on futébol.

and you MUST scream and jump and down every good move. you must. i fit in. actually i screamed a lil too much. i thought i knew what was going on one time and cheered for the other team. oops.

O told me that brasil has one of the highest income disparities in the country. but i truly believe that whenever there is a futébol game on all are equal.

is an ox an ox?

2004-07-24T19:11:00.000-03:00

when i was a child i would often eat my granny´s ox tails along with black-eyed peas, rice, and green beans or greens. but i never considered the animal, ox. never asked the question, "what is an ox?" until today that is.

O and I escorated chandi to the airport this afternoon and on our way back we stopped for lunch at habib´s (ahh-bee-bee´s). i have a huge craving for mexican food, but it is impossible to find it here. so, we went to the grocery store with a mission. in the meat aisle i decided to buy "premium" meat, because it cost less than regular meet in the states. the only problem is i am not sure of what i bought. it says "ox" but is it really OX!?! i mean, what is an ox anyway?

this may sound like a stupid question, but i will really pay the person who can answer this question $50 virtual play play dollars.

diggin deep

2004-07-20T15:33:00.000-03:00

sigh.

about an hour ago i prepared a one dish meal of potatos, onions, sausage and red bell pepper. this is exactly what you should NOT eat before going to a lukewarm computer cafe to mediate e-commerce disputes. i know i look foolish falling asleep and waking up at the computer.

but, i. am. trying. what i really want to do is go back up to my apartment and go to sleep.

yawn. but i must dig deep and get this work over with.

my visit with chandi has been so great! she arrived friday afternoon. i took the hour-long bus ride up to meet her at the airport. in usual chandi fashion she was very chipper/hyper. while we waited for the return bus, we acted very silly- dancing, speaking nasely portugeuse, and laughing really loud. i didn't care about the attention we were attracting because suddenly everything was familiar to me.

chandi has meshed in well with the atmosphere here. taken well to everything including the weather, people, and laid-back daily life. unfortunately i gave her my cold. (sorry, chan).

we've been dancing. we hosted a brunch. hung out with the girls. practised capoeira with raimundo, twice. sat on the couch and just looked at the ocean. it's really cool to share my experiences with someone i know.

fun, fun. fun!!!

ok. nuf about chandi's visit. i know i am making lots of people jealous. but hey, open invitation to visit me. lol!

oh, tonight we received a special invitation from the big actor guy to see some important play on race. i actually want to go dancing. it's a big night in pelo!! but, i have to be open to new experiences. :)

guess who´s coming to dinner

2004-07-16T09:15:00.000-03:00

after working, i spent most of yesterday trying to get over my allergies (read: i slept the whole damn day!)

i woke up very disoriented around 5pm and went to the nearest payphone to call O to discuss the evening plans. we set a time to meet for salsa dancing. i went back up to my apartment, set at the end of my bed, and deeply contemplated how i was going to get a hamburger with fries.

the food here is so healthy (it appears that way). very little cheese. lots of fresh veggies and fruits. so, i guess you could say i am going through grease withdrawal. lol!

i finally decided that it was stupid to walk all the way to "shopping barra" for mcdonald´s. so, i went to the grocery store to get the goods. when i returned the doorman excitedly told me that i had a guest. "huh, who? who?" duh, he doesnt know what i am saying. "quien? uma mulher? um homme? pra mim???!!!!"

turns out O came all the way to my place to tell me that we should rest up because i have allergies and we will be going out every night for the next week at least. i felt like an ass for not having a phone. but i my telepathic return message for O worked. she returned after searching for me in the streets. lol.

and so i fried up some "texas" burgers (texas would not approve of these puny things) and some taters. i had only a little olive oil. so, i sliced the potatoes like the round home fries my mama and daddy sometimes make. O was impressed that i had all the proper condiments and Coke- a very american dinner.

just as we were to sit down, the phone for rang (intra-building use only). "O, somebody else is here!!!!" it was S and raimundo. they were stopping by to invite me out for dancing. all the sudden, dinner for one was dinner for four. hol-la!

raimundo and S were very impressed by my skills. i told them this was nothing compared to the shrimp n´grits i will be preparing for brunch on sunday.

after grubbing, we watched a horrible novella (night time soap opera) and discussed brasilian tv. we all agreed that we were very concerned.*

we also looked at my little photo album and discussed the meat market/dance club "beco de gal". i enjoyed being the hostess. i enjoyed having company at my own place. :)

*for example, there is a soap called "color of sin" (translated). it is getting a lot of hype because the main character is a Black woman- a first in brasil. but here´s the problem: the title, her name is preta (black girl), her profession is working as a cook in her baby daddy´s daddy´s retaurant, and she´s isn´t really the main character. mostly she dresses up in pretty clothes and listens to everybody´s problems. tsit!

pokey

2004-07-15T10:31:00.000-03:00

i am literally poking my lip out right now. and my posture has curved up.

chandi´s flight was messed up. so she won´t be getting here until tomorrow.

(hangs head).

so. i reckon i will go lock myself in my apartment after i work.
then i will take some allergy medicine (sweeping only helped some)

and take more time to get rested for the next week.

Santa Claus

2004-07-15T10:04:00.000-03:00

Last night felt like Christmas Eve for me. I haven´t actually really celebrated Crimmus in a really long time (with exception of this past one), but i remember the feelings.

i kept tossing and turning. getting up to check my powerpuff watch for the time. i thought about sweeping my floor. but who sweeps at 4 AM?

why am i excited? because chandi will be here in a couple of hours. Chandi and i have been friends since 1995. and this will be our third or fourth international meeting. so you could say that we are travel buddies too.

and she is bringing me lots of goodies too! my wishlist included a skirt, some shoes that show my toes but don´t break my feet, some undies (lol), and some Rusk Being Wild (very necessary hair product for curly headed folk). the last item is an absolute blessing if i get it.

my hair is sooooooo angry right now. i have avoided the $60 haircut for too long and now my mass of curls is knotting up at the end. not good at all. i only brought one tube of Wild. what the hell was i thinking!?!

but anyway, the next week will consist of so much grinning, dancing, chatting, and such.

it will also be interesting to hear the perspective of someone from MY reality, someone who knows me inside and out.

lazy

2004-07-14T17:37:00.000-03:00

last night a baiana told me that i was lazy (with regards to speaking and listening to the language). well, he didn´t put it that way. basically, he told my friend, O, who speaks english and portuguese to stop being my interpreter.

in my mind i was screaming really loudly, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

ugh. we weren´t even having a conversation about language. in fact, the subject was about beer or samba or something. then jorge gave the instructions to O and she obeyed him. traitor.

now, i know that my ass should be trying to speak and understand portugeuse. but it gets so hard when there´s so much else to understand like smells and sounds, and why people are wearing crazy things, and... .

and it is SO VERY EASY when you have friends who are bi-lingual. you just sit back and let them do all the talking except for an occassional "now, what´d he say?"

one time i went to paris with "psyche". neither of us speak french. BUT, there are lots of vietnamese people in paris. so, i made sure "psyche" took every opportunity to speak vietnamese to get us around places. lol.

i bought a "portuguese for strangers" book last week. it´s still in the same spot when i brought it home. however, i have two more months here. this afternoon, guilt was laying heavy on my conscious. i was thinking about people who have to go to another country out of necessity. they are then put in a position where they may not have any material resources, let alone any grasp of the language. people (americans) make fun of latinos who travel in large groups to the store for example. but most likely this is the one opportunity to go to the store with somebody who speaks this foreign language. so, you get there how you can.

my being here is a luxury. i can afford to not speak the language. but it ain´t right. i should learn.

down to bidness!

2004-07-12T17:35:00.000-03:00

first of all, a moment of silence for Weezie!

...

so, sunday, S and i had a business (pronounced bidness) meeting to discuss my volunteer work with her organization. the location and time was an hour before sunset on the beach. ha ha!!!!

we agreed that i would be the website development liaison. we also brainstormed ideas for making the website da bomb and i will be in charge of making this happen.

S and O are great people to plan with. I have to pat myself on the back too for my facilitation skills (thanks Kathy M.) :)

ah so, in the next couple of weeks i will be spending a couple of hours a day working on this. i feel so special.

chandi is coming in two more days. chandi is coming in two more days. yipee!!!!!!!!!!

wandering

2004-07-11T12:33:00.000-03:00

i know it has been four days since i posted. but honestly i have fallen in love. yes. with brasil. with salvador. i´m so full of excitement that i want to burst. it makes no sense that a place like this exists. no sense a´tall. sigh. hmmm. since last friday i seen more than 10 live musical performances. axé, samba, salsa, jazz, african (burkina faso), music that accompanies caipoera, aboriginal, and hip hop (pronounced hippy hoppy). FANTASTIC.

but it gets better. the people. i just love the people. everyone is sooooo cool. of course there are un-cool people, but i can´t feel them for all the positive energy i have gotten from everybody else.

i have opened myself up to just experience. i am not trying to be a tourist. i am not trying to be a baiana. i am just floating along and appreciating every good thing that comes my way.

for example cristeane, o, a new girl (mariana) and i went out friday. first we sat at a table in the streets and listened to samba and looked at this group of beautiful people dance and sing. lol. mariana and i took a stroll ´round pelo. we happened upon this group of women drummers leading a mass of people through the streets. naturally we joined them. talk about empowering. i even had to raise my long arms above my head as the rest of my body swayed side to side, back and forth. by the way, my hip action is getting very good.

later in the evening we all went to ile aya (sp?) for more samba. it was very crowded and yours truly was recognised!!!! if you meet someone once, it´s like you are their friend from now on. so, a simple acknowledgement (i.e. head nod) is not enough. you have to hug and give the two-cheek kiss. this is always followed by brief conversation. so, i was warmly greeted by about eight or so people that i have met since i arrived in salvador. one was this local politician, raimundo (pronounced high-MOON-doh). we discovered that he went to my hometown when he lived in the states!!!!!! this makes no sense to me. too amazing. warming. everybody danced. it felt soooooo goood. i was grinning the whole time.

raimundo and co., took me and the girls out for beer at a pudding bar afterwards. by this point in the night my capacity for comprehending portuguese was diminished. my mind was too busy just enjoying the moment. later we went to a "restaurant". actually this guy and his wife set up some sterno stoves, some tables and a tent on the sidewalk. laza, raimundo´s campaign manager, ordered us some rice, marqueca (sp?), and a meat dish. it all tasted just like my daddy´s sunday dinner. the meat dish was sliced smoked sausage and fatback. marqueca consists of cornmeal mixed with juices from the meat (basically it is gravy the consistency of pudding). now, normally i like to have my own plate, fork, knife, and cup. but we were only provided with three sets for six people. but we just ate. like family. laza even cut my meat up for me. so not necessary. but he was taking care of me as baianas do.

every moment is not necessarily just about having a fun time. there have been one or two serious moments. after eating the conversation randomly turned to this discussion about black brasilians and black americans. laza, a very strong-minded person, told me and mariana that he detest americans. he also does not believe black americans are not at all connected to africa much less have any culture.

ugh. this is a difficult conversation. 1. because it is hard to express yourself fully and accurately in a language you only kinda know. 2. i AM a visitor. this is not my country. this is not my home regardless of how much i think i can relate. so, when debating any issue you have to be mindful that you and this other person interpret things from a wholly different paradigm and at the end of the day...you are the stranger. you MUST respect and honor that you are in their home.

mariana, who is nigerian-swiss, is a wonderful, intelligent and diplomatic interpreter. at the end of the long conversation, laza told me i am beautiful, he respects me, and our conversation is now with God. that made me smile again.

sigh. i have to work. i haven´t worked since friday.

marco

2004-07-07T13:45:00.000-03:00

another tuesday night in pelo. this time we (me and O) went to an outdoor concert for a group called gerónimo. very lovely salsa jazz. we sat on some steps that led up to a very old church. it was about mid-70´s with a slight breeze.

afterwards we ended up at another outdoor concert. samba on big hill. yes it is possible to samba on a steep hill. lol. a new friend, marco, invited us to a little restaurant with jazz. we sat out on the patio, sipped caipirinhas and listened to this group of individuals who come together every tuesday night round 10 and play their instruments. very beautifully, in fact.

marco. very cute. very friendly. diplomatic. intelligent. and in love with music. it´s always interesting when the ratio of men to women is not balanced. i think the question in the back of every person´s mind is "who will the [insert male/female] favor?" this is an inevitible reality. the lucky outnumbered male or female is always in a position to pick someone to "like" even if they don´t really like them. i don´t know why we (humans) do this. maybe it is a darwin thing. anyway. marco definately favored me. but the feelings were not mutual. i am soooooooo superficial. so. maybe he is too short (5´9 to my 5´11). married twice. two daughters. so, i made sure to facilitate a hook-up between him and O. i am a dork.

i have also caught the interest of two other men. one is this african guy with a dead eye and a horrible sense of style. "heeeeeeyyyyyyyy gul! i been looking for you!!!!" he is so persistent too. i mean how hard is it to interpret blank responses to your come-ons?

then there is george washington. that IS his name. he is an actor here in salvador. very very popular. he is also very nice. however, he puts me in the mind of my uncle cherry. only he has long locks. i love my uncle cherry, but i can not date him. lol.

bom preço

2004-07-05T20:58:00.000-03:00

having a kitchen of my own again and being surrounded by great cooks in my building makes revisiting my culinary talents irresistible. and so, i went to the market, bom preço, today. most grocery stores here are the size of a pharmacy in the states. but i managed to find a hypermarket.

talk about difficult. damn. i know this sounds stupid, but everything was so foreign to me. yes, i AM in another country. even my little pocket dictionary was useless. i thought i would see stuff i recognised, but even stuff like spinach or onions looks a little different. oranges are not necessarily orange. tomatos not necessarily red. notwithstanding my confusion, i found the produce section to be beautiful. i felt i was in the garden of eden. vibrant colors, quizzical shapes and textures. and the smells... . i picked up a little it of everything. then i remembered that i have no car and a much smaller fridge than before. so, i stuck to the staples. and i reminded myself that i avhe plenty of time to try the different stuff. maybe by the time i leave here i will have enough info to do a brasilian portuguese-english dictionary with photos.

living here makes me amazed with grocery stores in the US where everything is aesthetically beautiful because it is injected and engineered. ironically natural stuff costs more in the states. that is just wrong!!!

i did recognise some things:
* frosted flakes (but i resisted the familiar)
*garlic (a staple)
*chandon (a napa valley winery)
*miller genuine draft (my daddy´s beer of choice)
*pitú, which is cachaca, a liquour that my friend Tanya F. shared with me many times in law school (T, i had a caipi just for you tonight)

I had the most difficulty with the dish washing detergent. so many of the cleaning soaps are come in very similar bottles. it literally took me eight minures to find the right stuff.

my granny frances should have been there to help me. they still make food the old fashion way (read: fresh), just like she likes it. she could help me pick out beans and tell me how to clean and soak them. or assist me and finding the right rice or piece of meat. oh well.

i managed to find a place for everything. then i spent a couple of hours hand washing my clothes. ugh. so difficult. i have a whole new appreciation for the term "handwash." fortunately i had the goodness that is gilberto gil playing in my cd player. :)

´squitters

2004-07-03T18:46:00.000-03:00

right now i am in praia do forte. it is the sweetest place on earth!

i cant say much now because i think this computer has a virus. the keyboard is soooooooooo wack.

all i can say is that a stupid mosquito has bit me on the lip. dam n it. must go to the sto´to buy some off.

so much mor eto tell. ........

casa da mabi

2004-07-01T21:17:00.000-03:00

so. this morning i went up to pelo to finalise the apartment deal with cristeane. we chatted over coffee. i didnt want to leave because it was sprinkling. when the rain stopped, i returned to barra to quickly move from the dollhouse (12pm checkout) to my new casa.

the ocean looks marvelous from my big windows. the apartment smells like my great grandmother´s house. it has dark wooden floors. and some tiles in many places. some of them remind me of chickens, but i dont think the tiles actually have chickens on it. it is furnished. pretty plain.

my first task after cooling down was to strategically hide my valuables i.e. pile of very dirty clothes or in wrapped feminine products. lol!!!! i figure most thieves are men and they don´t like laundry or feminine products. the building itself is really secure. but you never know. gregor lives a few doors down. he might be a freak!!!

ah so. after dropping off my things i rushed back up to pelo for lunch with the ladies. two new people joined the group. two very arrogant american women who just are too important to talk about anything but themselves. ugh. then they left without eating. busters. i just mostly sat back and giggled here and there. i can´t stand those name dropping convos. when the busters left we got real and had a good time. no mention of the busters and how busterly they are. don´t get me wrong they are really smart and probably do really great things. but who likes braggards!?!

so. in the taxi on the way back to barra (well, shopping barra) i asked julietta what she does for a living. she had been very interested in me. so i wanted to show interest in her as well. why is she like a freaking super attorney in a big firm doing all kinds of amazing things!!!! aww. i turned into mousy mabi then. i started kissing ass and such. paid for the taxi. continued shopping although i am not a fan of shopping with others. asked questions. listened. now i am all self-conscious. wanting to sound smart because she could be a great resource. sigh. i hope she likes me. the best jobs matches come from personal connections.

tomorrow is yet another holiday. there have been three so far in my 2.5 weeks here. this one is supposed to be like carnival. but so are all the rest. i will meet O up in pelo around 12. later in the evening we plan to go out with cristeane. she is taking us to town so to speak. hol-la!!!

apartemento

2004-07-01T08:41:00.000-03:00

while meandering around Pelo yesterday, O and I happened upon this travel agency recommended by a friend of a friend of a friend. coconut bahia. there we met cristiane, who is a very excited baiana with a german brazilian accent (she lived in munich for seven years). really interesting accent.

anywho. she impressed us with her powerpoint presentations describing beautiful places in bahia. we must go to this place: http://www.portalhoteis.tur.br/llencois.html

we then delved into a long conversation that ended up with us on a field trip back to barra to look at an apartment for me. gregor was the facilitator. imagine a 50-65 year old native american with a jheri curl dyed black. just wrong. BUT he is my new neighbor!

i never planned for getting an apartment here. well, i went back in forth over it but budgeted to stay in a pousada for the summer. but the apartments are just too cheap. ah so, i now have a new fabulous place with a view of the great bay of all saints. i have a grand kitchen. antique hardwood floors, a luxurious master bedroom, and even a room to get my "pioneer woman groove" on. but i have a maid for that.

not.

and i did haggle on the price. lol. the process was so funny. i am a student of conflict. literally. so, i like to extract myself from the situation and analyze the details. it was so dramatic. the scrunched up thoughtful faces conveying messages of deep contemplation. the posturing over high demand or lack of need. the winks. cristiane is a winker. i am not. i double wink. so instead i give the very deliberate blink. the end of our negotiation was so anti-climatic because we so easily came to a price that worked for all three of us. but we pretended. went to seperate rooms to "think". exchanged long sighs. i was going to steeple my fingers as a sign of victory. but i actually probably got screwed in salvador standards. to me it is cheap and under budget. but i know those with whom i was haggling would have found my steeple to be unworthy and, thus, lose an tiny ounce of respect. ah. to negotiate.

i want to decorate today. but i actually have full plate. have to go back to pelo to finalise some trip plans and the 30 day lease with C. then back to barra to move my one piece of luggage around the corner and up to the 5th floor (i feel like the jeffersons!). then to work at the dirty cafe. then back to pelo to meet a bunch of big brained sisters for lunch at 2.

must find time to be lazy today. sigh.

for brentwood, brooklyn, or whatever you are calling yourself today lol: i have YOUR copy of the "broke diaries". LOL. actually i gave it to janora. lol. then i bought a copy for my lil sis. i figured. we all have been broke some day and MUST read that book.

flirting

2004-06-30T14:39:00.000-03:00

did you know you are invited, encouraged, and (in fact) required to flirt in salvador?*

I learned this last night on a field trip to Pelo (pelourinho) with S and crew. the crew was me, s, her man (h), raquel, julietta and her mama, and a dude named zapata.

we shared a quick, dangerous taxi ride up. from the moment we set foot in Pelo, i felt like i was in a music video. Pelo is one big party every tuesday night. yes. every tuesday night unless there is an even bigger party somewhere else in the city. the festivities include vendors selling beverages and homemade goodies (R$1-3). it also includes a big stage with a band performing as well as drumming groups marching through the narrow cobbled streets of Pelo. so imagine this. Terriero (sp?) de Jesus is this big town square with very european buildings surrounding it. there´s lots of multi-colored streamer like things draped from building to building. music is playing. everybody is laughing, singing and dancing.

h served as the tour guide- telling the history, negotiating drink prices, etc.

we went to this liquor "bar" on one street....

sidenote: the bump on my arm is still here. and there is another one. so, two of the ladies who work here just stole me a way from the computer and literally poured alcohol on my arms. then claudia lit a match and shook her head "no." guess that means i will be healed, but i am highly flammable. ok.

anyway. the liquor bar. it´s not really a bar. bright walmart lighting and only 3x8 feet of space for patrons. however, the couple that owns the place serve homemade flavored liquour (read: they sell moonshine). that shit is strong ok. only thirty cents US a cup (8oz). whew lawdy. for a while the only thing holding me up was the mass of people that had scrunched in the liquour bar seeking protection from the rain.

while waiting for the rain to subside, we had a chat with these guys from olodum (most famous drumming group in brasil). they are stars. i am a star gazer. but i didn´t say anything. just smiled. when the rain stopped we were able to leave and get as far as an art gallery before the rain started again. menelaw sete greeted us at the door. he is so...nice. very nice. here is his website: http://www.ftl.it/sete.html

unfortunately our night ended early due to rain. but it was still a great first night out in Pelo. can´t wait til next tuesday!!!

*Maybe all of brasil but i haven´t been everywhere yet.

-for brentwood, not quite nuthuggers. can´t say the same for the speedo swimsuits. too much information. BEP may have crossed over too much into mainstream. losing authenticity because the focus is materialistically on that girl who shakes it fast and scream sings. and...how was hollywood, sc?

-for claudia, i will buy that cd and dance for you. you can dance to it, right

rio ain´t ready!

2004-06-29T18:22:00.000-03:00

my friend from law school bought a ticket today to rio. i will be meeting him there. LOL!!! i hadn´t plan to go to rio, but what the heck!!!

i am going up to pelo for tuesday night events. like drumming, dancing, singing in the streets. i practised earlier with the daughter of the lady who owns the dollhouse. she is such a brat. sweet brat. but brat indeed. we sang and danced until she told me i need to chase her. whatever. i am not a babysitter.

so there is this huge not forming on the inside of my left arm between the elbow and wrist. it shouldnt be a mosquito bite- they aren´t this big. maybe it is a spider bite. of course now i feel "symptoms" although not really. just paranoid. my biggest fear of bugs is that one will somehow enter my skin, settle down, and make an appearance four months down the road. EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

thank the lawd for www.webmd.com

life is so very random

2004-06-28T16:17:00.000-03:00

i wasted my afternoon (after working 2 hrs and taking a long walk) watching tv. it´s sooo horrible, yet so entertaining.

i watched this show that had a dancing contest. dirty dancing i might add. at the commerical break they featured this ab swing machine. why did i see my friend on it!!!!! she did this infomercial last year or so. i never saw it while in the states. but sure enough it was janora. her facial expressions and motions are classic. the dubbing made it so much more heelarious.

on my way to look at apartment number one. (crosses fingers).

music

2004-06-27T19:50:00.000-03:00

yesterday i purchase three cds. only $20!!! nice.

i bought magarethe. she is a soulful axé singer here in salvador.

i bought Oludum. it´s this big group (in size) here in salvador. they sing about discriminaton and social inequality. of course, i don´t understand most of what they are saying. the music actually sounds happy to me. lots of percussion accompanied by string instruments that make the music swingy- folksy.

i bought baden powell. no, he is not the founder of boy scouts. but he was named after the founder. go figure. he tops the list of guitar players for me (which includes slash and that guy from the chili peppers). his music is the kind of music you listen to on a care-free saturday afternoon when you open up the windows for the world to listen.

while working this afternoon at the internet shop i ran into raquel. so, we went to lunch. she asked me to explain what i do for a living. and she asked lots of questions. this rarely happens to me. most people say, "sooooo...why aren´t you practising law?" lol. we also share an amazement for the types of american films and shows that you see overseas. for example, all the other patrons in the restaurant were glued to the television which was showing a poorly dubbed version of "speed." remember that movie? ugh. i learned in law school that the success of a film or show is often determined by the international market. so if you ever wondered why "bold and beautiful" (a crappy soap opera) is still playing, it´s because it is, in fact, the number one show in Namibia. Seriously. i have a friend that lived there. the show is very affordable to the namibian government. same goes for baywatch. none of us ever really liked bay watch, right? well, they love it in other places. because that´s all they get.

also heavy in rotation is this pepsi campaign with beyonce, pink, and brittany spears. together! lol. hilarious.

tomorrow, i am going to get serious about finding an apartment. i pay the same amount for a month in an apartment that i would pay at the dollhouse in 10 days. not cool.

the real news

2004-06-26T10:17:00.000-03:00

ok. every night i have been reading a tarde, which is a big newspaper here in brasil. i usually can do about four articles before i start getting bogged down with translating.

anyway...i read this article and i am pretty sure i got it straight. it said that a hotel in turkey was bombed. four people killed and many injured. my interest in this article is that this hotel is the hotel where president bush was supposed to stay when he visits turkey. according to the article. uh. this is major news, but haven´t seen a word of it on the US news sources that i read on line. WTF!!!!! (what the fuck?).

i dont want to get blacklisted but the gob´ment and media are sooooo shady!!!!

minhas irmãs

2004-06-25T17:03:00.000-03:00

minhas irmãs. my sisters.

i returned again to shopping barra today. i HATE malls in the traditional sense. no creativity. in brasil, i would say, malls have are more purposeful. shopping barra has a huge wing dedictated to the government. you have pharmacies. etc. i always (almost) go with a purpose. today i hoped to purchase so nail polish remover, cuticle pusher, watch, sunglasses, and jewelrymaking supplies. mission accompished. well, most of it.

upon returning to the hotel, erida informed me that S stopped by to invite me to lunch. i quickly dropped off my goods and ran back out to the streets to search for her. it´s pretty easy to find S because she is almost always at the beach watching her man. lol. i am always eager to hang out since i dont get too much time with people.

i didn´t expect to find her soooo easy, but she was literally right around the corner from the doll house talking on the payphone. good thing i like to stare at people. me and S met up with three other sistas and headed for a long walk to lunch. there was Raquel (pronounced ha-kell), an afro-brasilian who i think is a career student (linguistics, history, anthropology). Okezi, a black american currently getting her ph.d at g-town. and Rubella (pronounced hoo-bella) and naomi, a mother and daughter from good ole salvador.

we wondered around Barra aimlessly for about 30 minutes. of course we wanted to eat, but we were all so busy talking that we never really decided where to eat. finally i suggested my regular spot. i am ashamed to say i have eaten at picui 6 times this week. what a shame!!!

but its good and convenient.

anyway. we had a nice slow lunch of chicken, steak, salmon, rice, tacky beans, a brasilian salsa, pickled onions, and a malty beer (dark and sweet).

even more delicious than the meal was our conversation. we went around the table and formally introduced ourselves. S actually pointed out that yours truly is "probably the smartest woman at the table." sniff sniff. i dont know what would give her that idea. we talked a lot about afro-brasilian and african-american relations, ignorance, education, raising a non-profit, music... .

of course, the state of "black" relationships (my least favorite subject in the world) came up at the end of our date as we stood in the street waiting to go our seperate ways. sigh.

but definately a delightful afternoon indeed.

pioneer woman

2004-06-24T13:35:00.000-03:00

today (and yesterday) is a big holiday in the northeast of brasil. it´s são joão. if i understand correctly it is celebrating the death of saint john. the whole place has shut down. nothing is open. it´s far more closed then crimmus back in the states. i can´t even go to the grocery store. they have some big street party/celebration in pelourinho, but i have a head cold. so, getting mashed by a bunch of people doesn´t seem like fun to me.

ah so, i am spending the day at the dollhouse. all my clothes are dirty. lol. but it costs $5 to wash clothes. i only have $2. and i have no access to an ATM. fortunately i used to be a girl scout (15 years). i found a sample of detergent i received at a restaurant. strung up my braided clothes line. and finally put my pumice stone/nail brush to use. with my hair pulled back in flat twists and my sarong wrapped around me, i stood over my sink and scrubbed scrubbed scrubbed. i felt very purposeful. i thought of my great-granny and my granny frances hand-washing clothes back in the day.

i wonder what they did to keep their mind occupied. did they sing? was it a group effort? i listened to sean paul´s dutty rock. i never realised just how dutty he is. lol.

since their are no restaurants open i can either try to persuade erida to let me put a hotdog on tab or go down to the beach and search for the lady with the 30 cent fried balls stuffed with chicken. hmmm.

vessel

2004-06-23T14:52:00.000-03:00

my body is a vessel on this spiritual journey called life.

S and i are taking capoeira lessons from her boyfriend, himundo. capoeira is a ancient martial art/acrobatic dance developed by slaves to combat thier masters. two words: beautiful and amazing! it incorporates so much. from a viewer´s perspective there is the gravity defying turns, jumps, handstands, etc. but also thee dancing looks both ancient and like some modern breakdancing/popping. then there is teh singing, drumming and string instruments that accompany the two fighters in the circle. the actual hitting is only a part of this stuff.

from the perspective of a capoeirista (sp?), so much is mental. like being able to anticipate your apponent´s moves, making your moves all the while staying on beat. lol. physcially you have to be quick and agile. I would also have to say you have to be fearless. when you enter the circle you have to remove the heavy coat of apprehension.

for me this is the biggest challenge. i can remember taking ballet/tap/jazz as a young girl and always feeling awkward. lol. i have to "study" things in order to perform them well. sponteneity (sp?) is not mine. so if a whole bunch of instructions is being thrown out at me i get very discombobulated. total confusion.

himundo is a very patient and encouraging teacher. actually he is almost at teh level of master. wow. through portuguese and sign language he taught me a few basic moves. the most basic is a step called "jenga". i think that´s what it is called. this is a move you do throughout the match to maintain alertness and so forth. what´s cool is that in one school of thought, you actually can/should throw in some dance moves while you jenga. lol. you know like shaking your tail feather.

i also did some kicking. i cant believe himundo let me kick him!! i have a pretty kick. i point my toes. and land delicately. i totally have to work on my balance though. and i have to learn to let go of this fear of looking straight-up crazy. himondo told me "you just have to do it so you focus mentally." that´s right. that´s what intrigues me most about capoeira anyway. the whole mental aspect. i imagine that it is similar to chess or bid-wiss.

we´ll see.

quiet in barra

2004-06-22T17:42:00.000-03:00

straight from my hard journal

here it is, the middle of the night and i am awake. i am not necessarily inspired. rather, i can´t sleep. i am having a hot flash. my body has yet to hit equilibrium with the temperature here. i get hot. then i get cold. etc. it´s all good though because it is quite in Barra (my neighborhood).

i was annoyed my first week here because Barra is so freaking noisy. from the hour past sunrise until way late it is normal to hear one or a combination of the following:
a. somebody singing (live) or yelling
b. a cary honking
c. construction work (drilling, hammering)
d. firecrackers
e. barking of a small, bitchy dog
f. barking of a small, bitchy woman (who yells at her man every other night
g. a bus or busses barrelling down my short, narrow street. (trash pick-up is even late- 11 pm!)

so tonight, as early or late as it is, I am noticing that Barra actually gets quiet. sure there are still some noises including the damn buses (sp?), but the overall hum has lowered significantly. all of last week i was pissed because i thought this was the noisiest place on earth. so much so that i reluctantly stuffed my tiny, exczyma-having ears with earplugs every night.

perhaps living in the mountains of NC has spoiled me. during the daytime it is very quiet. lots of birds talk-singing, insects himming, Baby (my much missed dog) barking, the mailmain. at night it´s even more peaceful depending on Baby´s desire to protect us. even the noisy things are noisy such as daddy leaving for work around 1 and the trains, which pass by down the hill every few hours. I feel the trains passing by so closely kind of certifies that i live in the peaceful country.

Barra. different story. remember i dont have a traditional ceiling. these terra cotta slabs do not absorb any sound. Plus i am a light, finnicky sleeper. i complained about the noise to joe when we met. he reminded me of framework, way of viewing reality. he told me that all this noise is the salvadorans. "if someone decides to play their music very loudly with the window and door open, it´s not a problem. and their neighbor may come out and sing with them."

the proud, wise man is right. slowly i have been consciously trying to let go and let it be.

note to self: don´t drink soda when you can´t sleep at night.

international ho

2004-06-21T14:36:00.000-03:00

my friend, nenah, asked me to elaborate on what i was describing in the previous entry about people coming here to get their freak on.

i will. but before i do that...

for lunch i had some water, orange soda flavored soda, and some churrasco flavored potato chips. churrasco (sp?) is brazilian BBQ. essentially i had barbeque flavored potato chips, only they are different from the US version. US BBQ chips taste like BBQ sauce that you use when you are either going to make BBQ chicken or just to grill with. these chips taste like they were cooked on the grill. smokey. very interesting trickery on the taste buds especially since i know this is a simulated flavor.

anyway, when i move into an apartment (which i hope to do soon), i can finally make some of those fancy recipes from www.epicurious.com that i have always wanted to make but the ingredients are hard to find or to expensive. you can get so much here fresh and affordable.

so, back to the discussion. i am by no means an authority on this. it´s only what i perceive/witness here and what people share with me. i also read a little abit about it in the magazine. but my sense is that it is a common practice for people to take "sex" vacations here. moreover, this practice accepted in the sense that you don´t sting operations cracking down on prostitution. you dont have like an institution that combats this lifestyle. i mean for the individual (and on some level the state) it must pay off. so... .

this is not the most prevelant characteristic of brasil or even salvador. it should not be indicative of the people here or the people who visit here. it´s just magnified for me right now because i am not used to it. know what i mean?

i have to go because this boy who works at the dollhouse keeps bumping me with his butt. and some new italian guest just lit up a cigarette. ugh!!!

new friend

2004-06-21T11:17:00.000-03:00

i finally got to meet up with this friend of a friend of a friend who is staying here in salvador. S just left her cushy job as a litigator (corporate law) in D.C. to live in salvador, run her non-profit, and be with her man. it feels so good to know that i am not the only crazy sister in this world!!!!

from the dollhouse, S and i went around the corner and then walked up a very, very, very, tall, humongous hill. on the way up we exchanged stats. did i mention the hill was tall? she was as impressed and excited about my life alteration as i with hers. from the top we took a quick break to catch our breath. S pointed out all the little neighborhoods and where her man lives. she also told me that i should buy a condo here. $25,000!!! good investment. finally we walked down the hill into a different part of Barra (the neighborhood we live in). so much prettier. we strolled along the avenue chatting, looking at people, and enjoying the warm sun.

we stopped at this outdoor restaurant near the "christ statue" to have lunch. lol. lunch was interesting. we each had caipirinhas- limon for me, some delicious fruity one for S. we shared three crab-like animals. looks mostly like crab. taste mostly like crab. but a less meaty and a bit sweet. we also had some crab etoufee like stuff. very delish. i tried to use my manners while eating but it was quite difficult. those shells were sooooo hard to break. this lady sitting next to me, a dead ringer for lisa bonet (dreads and all), came to my rescue after witnessing my non-savvy attack of the crab. i was so embarrassed that i couldn´t understand what she was saying. so, she grabbed my crab and my crab club (a plastic stick) and began wacking away. obrigada. thank you. that´s all i could say.

on the way back to our part of the neighborhood, S and i talked about the international ho factor. that is this reality of non-brazilians coming to brazil to get their freak on. i knew this existed here and all over the world. what´s more difficult is how obvious and open it is. that´s just a hard thing to accept.

i also got to meet her boyfriend. hmm...he seems nice. he was working on his boat on the beach. S and i pulled up some chairs and lounged for a while. the sun was setting. 4 o´clock! i just enjoyed watching the people enjoy the water. they love the sea here!!!! you don´t just swim in the water you get all wrapped up in it. it´s so beautiful. S has several friends who sell peanuts, fried balls stuffed with chicken, cheese on a stick. needless to say we ate some more and chatted with a variety of people. one guy was excited to share his black eyed peas cd with us. (excuse me while i gag!!!) if you ever wonder why some entertainers, food (i.e. spam), and other products (i.e. fashion fair make-up) are still around, remember there´s another world out there. they eat this shit up!!! they don´t know nuffin´bout mos def (my boyfriend)!!!

then she has this 9 year old friend who looks like a mini-pharrel williams. soooo freaking cute. when other guys would try to talk to us, he told them that we were with him. too cute.

S´s man finally put the boat in the water and invited us out for a ride. i declined. S jumped right in. now that is brave. the tide was coming in and those waves seemed very strong. but S & her man looked so cute, so romantic riding off into the sunset. totally a kodak moment.

i plan to go to the beach everyday now. well, not that particular beach but any other beach will do. S basically told me that i looked like a nun. damn it! all i had on was a t-shirt and a long white skirt. hmmm. well, i guess i will have to pull out the lurvely sarongs chandi made for me.

i have started back to work. on-line mediation. this is a good thing. keeps me productive for 3 hours a day. how many people can say they live comfortably at the beach and work 3 hours a day! it sucks using the internet cafe because i am so particular. i don´t like disturbances such as people who cough all the time or people who peck the keys instead of typing. as if hitting the letter key all that harder will add emphasis to their writing. oh well.

i am on my way to shopping barra. i have no intentions of stalking. i am actually on a mission to purchase some grammer books. i decided i cant afford to take a class. so, i have to learn on my own and just talk to a whole bunch of people for practice.

superficial

2004-06-19T22:07:00.000-03:00

joe the ho (just kidding) is not totally wack although my description of him may have sounded like he is. he reminded me to be conscious of the framework within which i interpret and judge things. so as i write i may randomly type FRAMEWORK as a reminder to myself.

superficially speaking i can think of several excellent reasons for travelling to Salvador rather than your regular domestic location. not in any preferential order:
1. everything is very affordable
- $4 manicure and pedicure combos
- $3 steak with two fixins´
- $1 mixed drinks/50 cent beer
- $15 human hair wigs (no i didn´t buy one)
- $1.50 high gloss magazines
- $20/night charming hotels
- $25 hot girl stilettos

2. lots of beautiful people. i am not saying that brasil has a larger proportion of beautiful people because of all the mestizo (mixture). but symetrically speaking there are lots of beautiful people.

3. great weather

4. absolutely beautiful views

5. again, everything is affordable!!!

you can have a totally pampered, educational, epicurean, spend-thrifty, "hot" time!!!

this afternoon i was sooo fucking bored. i went to shopping barra on chandi´s suggestion. actually she said i should strike up conversations with people. i merely stalked people, my new hobby. there was this really beautiful, tall young man. i think he works at the mall (or maybe he too is stalking someone). he definately was not shopping and he was alone. he has tan complected (word?) skin, slightly balding (it´s ok), and he is slender. he has pointy features. he walks with a gate. i think its sexy when a man walks with a gate. not too much though. part of the reason i decided to write about him was because i was bored. the other reason was because i wanted to attract his attention. he knew i was lookng at him. lol. or he might have been under the impression that i am writing about this couple dancing next to him. yes they dance in the mall here.

did i mention that he was a floor down from me? we were also seperated by an entire atrium. i contemplated going to sit next to him and pretend to write about people and then ask him (in a thick american accent) "que hora é?".

sidenote: they have fake ponsettias all over "shopping barra". it is winter. lol!!

while at the mall i also noticed that brazilian men (regardless of their petitness) wear great jeans. great. jeans. perfect accent on the ass. i´d say 85% of the men here have cute asses. many of the men (if not most) that i have seen are petite. thus not physically attractive. however, when focusing on the boom boom... . ass in portuguese is burro, which i think is pronounced buh-ho.

before i left the mall, i purchased two copies of a magazine called brasil raça. very cool glossy. lots of pretty photos. and some good beauty tips (although a little heavy on the pro-weave wagon). there are lots of good conscious articles on health, art, politics, etc. the black US equivelents (essence, jet, ebony, vibe, etc) should take note.

i spent about an hour tonight translating articles. i will try to make this a daily session. i also think i will write the editor after i update. she´s so cool she put her own email address in the mag.

i had a good ole meal for dinner. i ate at a restaurant called Puiçui (i think). Erdidá recommended it. i ate filet mignon with rice and this crumble type stuff that starts with an F. i cant remember the name. anyway, my filet was a thin 6x3 inch piece of tender beef marinated in what tasted like fresh bell peppers and an unfamiliar savory spice. i also had two caiprinhas. i sat outside on the 3rd floor balcony of the restaurant. not too much to see. however, it was quite nice to sit and listen to the sounds of a brazilian rock music and i enjoy the feeling of the pre-rain breeze surrounding me. tudo bom!!!

museum

2004-06-18T19:10:00.000-03:00

i went to the afro-brasilian museum today. very simple. very nice. very well put together. basically a local university designed a relationship with governments on a local, state, and national level in brazil with national governments in several african countries such as benin, angola, and etc. the result of this relationship is an abundance of information and a decent bit of artifacts. in typical fashion (of myself) i purchased the entire english version of the museum information. i am my mother´s child.

i learned so much today.

prior to the transatlantic slave trade (where africans were brought to the americas), slave trade was abundant within africa and to other parts of the world mainly the persia and such. trading humans has been around since like the beginning of human life!!! i guess i knew this but solidified it in my head today. by the time i got through the history of trading slaves and to the part about blacks in brasil, my brain was exhausted. the museum did a great job of explaining how everything was made jewelry, masks, weapons, fabric, ceremonial stuff. They also had the most amazing exhibit of wood carvings of the orixas (gods). so freaking beautiful!!!! they were carved into these door sized pieces of wood. the details were, again, AMAZING. i have to call to see if i can come back and take pictures. it only costs $.60 to get into the museum. nice!

ok. time to rest. tomorrow i will be meeting the american girl. we´re supposed to go to a forro. i thought it was a town meeting. but apparently it is a public dance. lol.

the first supper/first caipirinha

2004-06-18T18:26:00.000-03:00

i finally ate a meal at a sit down restaurant. i went to this jamaican restaurant in a hotel called hotel quilombo de pelo. the restaurant is a small square room with seven square tables, many ceiling fans (thank the lord), and three floor-to-ceiling windows that open out onto Rua Alfredo de Brito right in the heart of Pelourinho (city center). i actually read about this place in an on-line article from Black Enterprise Magazine´s millenium issue. according to the article this is the only black owned hotel in Salvador, if not brazil.

the first thing i ordered was a caipirinha, which is the national brazilian drink made of cachaça (very, very strong liquor), sugar, and lime juice. i might have left something out. but this is a very good drink. very similar to a mojito. fresh, crisp, and to the point!

then i ordered a meal of jerk chicken, beans and rice, salad and fried plantains (a banana type fruit). while waiting for my meal the hotel owner was brought over by an assistant who is very eager for me to stay at the hotel (they only have three guests right now). his name is joe. joe. what can i say about joe. he is petite. however, he has significant presence. a very serious man that explains everything in life in relation to world history. however, when he laughs his 10 inch smile reveals large white teeth and his head bobbles side to side. and he stomps his right foot very hard to initiate the forthcoming bellow of laughter.

his first (of only two) question for me was "do you speak poruguese?" i answered a little. he went on to analogize language with a plant that is taken from it´s home country and placed in several different places around the world. as each plant grows you will have the same plant but it will take on unique characteristics based on the environment. so forth.

joe talked my head off for 2.5 hours. he even joined me for dinner. i offered him some of my food. but he reminded me that i was in his restaurant. he has plenty of food. just my type of guy. sike. lol.

joe gave me the lowdown on salvador. his version. he also told me that as a black american i have a duty to do more than come here to vacation and get my international freak on (as many people do). i have a duty to engage. uh. ok. we´ll see. i asked him what kinda engaging he is doing. lol. he said that he provides people with opportunity and encourages them. fair enough. i see his point.

the food was definately good. while practising my expert listening skills i silently savored the many tastes on my plate. sweet papaya. tender grilled chicken flavored with jerk seasoning (nutmeg, cinnamon, other stuff). i even noted the green pepper in my salad. given that i was positioned to be a sponge for joe´s rhetoric (read: bullshit), i failed to investigate the pepper further. i quickly assumed that it was a bell pepper. "yeah. we have bell peppers on our salads. why shouldn´t jamaicans in brazil?"

now i am suffering. what´s so bad about this pepper is that it has invisible heat. it doesn´t have a burning sensation. rather, it is a dull pain in my head. in my heart. my stomach. umph.

back to joe. joe is a catdaddy. this is a man whose manliness can woo many women notwithstanding his lack in size or good looks. the assistant that introduced us is so feeling joe. so are the kitchen staff, the other clerks, and this random black lady from america. eww! i had this feeling the whole time we ate dinner that we were being watched. like i was applying to be one of his new girls. they have absolutely nothing to worry about. i am a very smart and skeptical person.

the random black lady was very interesting to me. she has this chopped up way of speaking portuguese. she dined with this fine young man. i hope he is her son, but i think he´s her...ahem...boy toy. sigh. she referred to me as baby. joe referred to her as his "buddy". what.

being the asshole that i can be sometime, i mentioned to joe that i read an article about his hotel, but they really only mentioned his wife. oops. we hit a stumbling block. i dont know if the sister is dead or smart. but she isnt around any more. joe just said "she´s not here anymore" and closed his eyes for a nanosecond. hmm.

when i finally left hotel quilombo i told joe that i will call him this weekend to haggle with him over the price for the room. i think i have set him up pretty good. he knows i ain´t fooling. he informed me that he comes from a nation of hagglers. even so...i ain´t scurred!

the hotness

2004-06-17T16:36:00.000-03:00

i think i jinxed myself in talking about the mild weather earlier. it´s a lil bit hot now. (*wipes sweat off brow*)

but more hot than the air are the people here. in preperation for this trip i read that as a tourist you should dress plainly in order to avoid attention. i am learning that this rule does not apply to me.

first of all, i look like these people. the fact that i don´t dress like them makes me stand out. of course this is probably all in my mind. but mabye it isn´t. all the ladies wear a halter top of some sort with skin showing here, rhinestones or a buckle there. and don´t get me started on the shoes. the shoes here are quite ridiculous. i´ve seen jelly sandal stilettos, four inch rubber platform tennis shoe strap sandals. shit. i get nauseuous (sp?) thinking about the shoes. i have a pair of fuschia (not hot pink) linen pants upstairs and some cute heels. i might have to wear that tomorrow on my second tour of the city.

so, i ventured out into the hood today. i dont have a proper map. and there doesn´t appear to be any logic to the layout of the streets here. 1/2 of the streets do not have signs. anyway. i just started walking. i am pretty good at remembering landmarks (thanks k & b). so, if i saw something i recognized i walked towards it. magically enough, i ended up at "shopping barra" which is a big-ass mall. i entered into C & A (they have these in london), which is between family dollar and jcpenny in terms of quality and price. i was hoping to find the bahiatursa, a tourist desk. no luck. i did find a bead store, and a drug store. (i had to some lotion and a comb. my skin and hair are angry with me.)

i wondered around the mall aimlessly for a good two hours. i saw soooo many black people that looked like they could be american. i gave them "that look" that black americans give each other when there are just a few of us around. no luck. i eventually resorted to stalking a couple of people- just hoping to hear an american accent so i can say, "a senhora fala ingles!?! I´m american too!!! Yippeee!!!!" i followed this one lady into the bead store. it took her five minutes to say something. here i am looking at random beads and buttons. nodding & grinning at the sales ladies when they say stuff to me. finally she exclaimed something in very strong portuguese. sigh.

then i followed this man in a more posh department store. he looked like a young version of my uncle tommy. it didnt take long for me to learn that he was a security guard. he smiled at me. cute thing. he probably thought i was trying to shoplift.

ah so. another night in the dollhouse. i am going to call those people and beg them to take me out to dinner, a bar, or something. if i am not successful, i will be writing a short story and having doritos for dinner.

random

2004-06-17T09:14:00.000-03:00

i have been doing 1.5 meals a day. so far. i am trying to avoid the inevitable traveller´s diareha (sp. is wrong. sorry). i ordered pizza from the pizzaria down the street from the dollhouse. it was quite a challenge speaking with the girl who took my order. in salvador i try so hard to fit in and not look like a toursit. i walk fast. don´t look around (thus, hiding my awe). this usually works until i open my mouth. i stumle a lot. my 1.5 months with lily, the tutor, goes out the door! the waitress was very kind and patient. she even thanked ME for having a dictionary. at least i think that is what she said. lol.

anyway, i ordered the portuguese pizza without knowing what it consists of. the only other choice was "pizza americanha", which is a more safe choice. but i am no sell out. portuguese pizza has oregano, cheese, some kind of thin ham, corn and eggs. large pizza with 2 liter coke not quite $5!! cheap. mental note to self: just say "sim ovas?"

while waiting for my pizza i journaled. this has been very enjoyable to me. i thought about my first sunset in salvador. the sunset over the bay was very beautiful. it looked so perfect. i can tell that salvadorans are at one with the ocean. no show about going to the beach. it´s come as you are. i saw plenty of handsome tan, brown, dark bodies with wet kinky, curly, or straight hair.

i also thought about the nice staff at the pousada, especially this lady i call "speak-quick". she talks so fast. i often nod my head "yes" and follow up with "como", which basically means, "huh?" she and i watched soap operas last night. pretty hilarious. very dramatic. well, i guess the language seems more dramatic to me as compared to southern english. whereas we speak very flat and drawn out. (well, i don´t but...) this language is very tonal (?) and compact. lol. confusing for me.

i have to leave the dollhouse. soon. i swear a bus zooms by every five minutes at most 24/7. couple that with all the other noise (dogs, people, planes, sporting events, firecrackers) and i get no sleep. (*yawn*)

despite this, i have to admit that the dollhouse has grown on me. it does have nice hardwood floors- wide slabs, multi-tonal. there are not a lot of furnishings, which allows for simplicity of the mind. simple traditional brazilian lace curtains that partially cover the large windows throughout. lots of light gets in. there are several rocking chairs in the house. i would venture to say they are made of that famous brazilian cherry, but that would be a guess because i don´t actaully know what that looks like. the rocking chairs are nice to lounge in, especially on the front porch where there are lots of plants and people to watch.

i´ve spent several hours on the rooftop pato next to my room. the floor consists of huge tiles. there are two showers, a patio table for dining, and a hammock. the view from the patio goes straight up. all you can see is the sky and a few high rises. i am not the kind of girl who will just chill out in the elements for very long. however, the weather here is perfect. mid-70´s and very little humidity. and, most importantly, no squiters!!! that is..no mosquitos. just an occassional ant.

my room has a bed, dresser, and nightstand of the same wood as the chairs downstairs. nice red brown. the bed actually has a headboard, which i dont think i have ever had. modern and sleek. there´s a rug covering a portion of the floor. and two black cushion-like chairs that can be unfolded into small beds (long enough for me). i took pictures of the dollhouse. however, i am not yuet understanding how to upload my pics to a virtual space and then post them on this blog. so, if you want to see the photos either email me at obrigadabrasil@yahoo.com or leave your address at this blog.

today i plan to follow up on some recommendations from my good friend from law school who lived in recife for a total of two years. i also got some pointers from this friend(k) of a friend of my friend, TW. K has visited salvador very often AND!!! she has a friend who is here now right around the corner for me. i. am. so. hype!!!!
by the way...obrigada means thank you. just in case you were wondering.

high

2004-06-16T16:11:00.000-03:00

at breakfast this morning i had some meat and cheese with bread. the bread offered is very bready. so i had to eat small pieces of it. i then tried some traditional brazilian cake that has cornmeal in it. very similar to pound cake in sweetness and density. but this stuff can´t touch my granny´s seven flava cake!!!

i also had some brazilian coffee with brazilian sugar. whew, lawdy!!! i wanted to jump out of my skin. i was sooooo hyper. this shit is very very strong. and the sugar is ver sweet. one teaspoon to our tablespoon.

so after eating and being on the interenet way pass the allotted thirty minutes, i had to come to my room to take it down a few notches. first i tried nappng. that took about two minutes. then i went outside to MY patio. it´s not really my patio, but i only have to step outside my door and voila!

i listened to the entire album "nina simone´s finest hour". nothing like a little nina to make you chill out and think deeply. i swear the US needs a song like "misssissippi goddamn" to get the people to wake up and see what´s really going on.

from the dollhouse´s rooftop patio i could see the expansive blue sky with interruptions of an occassional puffy white cloud and the few high rise condos that neighbor the dollhouse.

my first entries in this blog have caused some worry for a few people, especially my immediate family.

B & K, please don´t worry. i am just fine.

The tricky thing about public journals is finding balance in sharing with people you know who are reading it. this is my real perspective, my feelings. sharing this experience with people i know would not be nearly as enjoyable if i had to consciously ensure airbrush the not-so-joyful things. at the same time i realize that my outward persona tends to be stoic (read: limited expression of emotion), especially with regards to my family. i also tend to exude a lot of confidence. wanna know my secret? i´ll sell it to you for four easy monthly payments of $19.99. LOL!!

anyway, if you are reading this and you know me (or think you do. just kidding) please don´t worry. i definately know how to ask for help, especially when i am broke.

K & B, you know that i do have a lot of experience travelling and such. each time i travel a part of me is travelling for you because you didn´t have the same opportunities that you gave me. a part of me (which fluctuates in size) also feels the same fears and such that you may feel for me. these feelings are as much of my experience as seeing a 15th century church or meeting someone to whom i am connected by six degrees. i hope this makes since. smile.

by the way. good news on the camera. it was left on or turned in on the bag. batteries died. hol-la!

quero saber a verdade

2004-06-16T09:54:00.000-03:00

quero saber a verdade=i want to know the truth

this afternoon i took a tour of historic salvador. when the small bus arrived to pick me up i was warmly greeted by Wilson, my petite dreadhead strong-lisp having tourguide.

on the tour i saw the following:

farol do barra: a light house built in the 1300´s. it is part of a series of "forts" built on the bay to protect the first capital of brazil, salvador, from invasion. it´s very old looking.

forte santa maria another one of the forts (there´s 13). the portuguese built all the forts on the Baia de todos os santos (bay of all the saints) to protect the city from invasion. they mistakenly did not protect the Atlantic coast of salvador under the assumption that the high embankments would serve as a barrier to the Cidade Alta (upper city). the dutch proved them wrong. they hired some pirates to do the dirty deed and ruled the area for 1.5 years. i guess the dutch were not as nice as they are now. :)

elevador lacerda this is a very tall elevator that connects the lower city with the upper city. at the base of it is the "mercado ____" (forgot the rest). but it´s the slave market. hmph. the elevator is powered by electricity, although it was previously powered by steam and before that, slaves. it´s really tall, ya´ll!

sidenote: wilson insists that i can understand portuguese. he also gave me props for naming all the membrs of Tribalistas, a popular bahian music group. (*pats self on back*)

ride up to Pelourinho: on the way up to the upper city we passed the first mcdonalds. in true bahian form, it is an open-air mcdonalds. we passed through a posh neighborhood with a posh name, victoria corridor. imagine quaint colonial homes with huge-ass high rise condos behind each one. wilson pointed out some mystical gigantic tree, but the english description came long after we passed it and the hotel where michael jackson stayed. Salvador is forever in love with MJ. (this is evidenced by the plethora of jeri curls and references to spots where michael has been).

catedral basilica: this old church was actually built with segments shipped directly from portugal. the style is baroque (sp?), which i don´t qyite understand. while it supposed to be the city´s most beautiful church, i say it is quite ugly. way too much gold. but i guess that was the style back then-- gold plated humans, vegetables, and pelicans. yes. pelicans. the pelicans represent Jesus because (under dire circumstances) they feed their offspring with their own flesh. most interesting about this church is the asian influence. the portuguese and dutch made an agreemetn that the dutch would be nice and not invade again. part of this aggreement was also to end the trade of slaes between the countries. the churches, down to the most intricate design, were built by the africans. so this aggreement effected an artist crisis in bahia. chinese artists were brought in to finish the job. so, there are some dragons and saints with slanted eyes located throughout the church.

igreja são francisco: yes another church. this one actually got me energized. no. i didn´t catch the spirit. lol. são francisco is a catholic saint. he used to be a rich man, but he gave up all his mone to...be holy. i guess. anyway, this church is totally ostentations (read:very overdone.) 80kg of gold. i don´t know how much that is but it sounds like a lot. there is a statue at the front of alter of são francisco and jesus hugging. this is considered special because the two never actaully met (differetn time periods) and also because it symbolizes the uniting of catholocism and christanity. i don´t really understand it, but that sounds cool. what was really fascinating was the histor of the construction of the church. again, it was built by africans. teh plan was to allow the africans worship in a very small, undecorated room with no view of the church. many would not even be allowed to attend the church because they still practised their african religion. this upset the artists so much that they did things to ensure that the church would always have an african presence. they used ebony would in many areas (color of their skin). the cherubs (baby angel like people) had huge erect genitals. (the church had to ask the pope permission to remove them.) many angels were made to appear pregnant. there is also a statue of christ with his back to the congregation. he is supposed to be looknig out to the poor people and turning his back to the wealthy church. what is so amazing to me is that the 15 or so artists who beautified this church felt so passionately and strongly about their treatment and recognition as humans, they sacrifised their lives. their punishment was 200 lashings at the pelourinho (whipping post). they definately won, though because this church is now so beautiful.

pelourinho: this is also known as the city center. the city´s oldest architecture is here as is lots of beautiful art and music. i can see myself overdoing it with the art here. i will have to have rotating exhibits at my house. wilson assured me that i can buy art much cheaper from the artists themselves. the school of oludom is also in this area. this is a very, very famous drumming group. they were in a michael jackson song/video for some song i don´t remember. but a recent example of this drumming style is snoop doggy dogg´s "beautiful" video at the end. hopefully i will get to see them perform soon.

igreja rosarios dos pretos: this is the church that the slaves built for themselves. there is a mixture of catholocism and candomblé practiced at this church. candomblé is a yoruba religin. hopefully i will learn more about it. the africans beautified this church by sneaking gold and jewels from their masters in holow saint dolls and in their hair. lol.

after visiting the 2nd church i became inspired to really learn about bahia. i mean there is so freaking much here. so much history and...i don´t know. sutff. i pulled wilson aside and asked him if he was sharing everything on this tour. he acted like he didnt know what i was talking about. so i asked him if i could hire him for a tour of the real salvador. none of the touristy crap. i wanna know the real deal man!!! he felt me. so much so that he said he would give me a tour for free. now this is good for yours truly. wilson can be my way into salvador. and maybe even the state of bahia. the whole tour we kept running into people who know wilson. one fellow tourist even commented that wilson should be on city council. plus he really knos his stuff, which is helpful because i ask a lot of thoughtful questions. lol. i´m the girl who is always at the head of the tour group wth my hand ready to be raised. i told wilson i will be here for three months. "oh, i have an extra room. you can stay with me.". yeah. ok. no! now i noted mentally that the Salvadorans have a demeanor very similar to Southern (US) culture in that people speak to strangers ("everything alright with you?") and offer assistance without hesitation. however, wilson´s offer of a room is just plain ole suspect. thanks but no thanks.

pelourinho is where i need to stay. i could feel really good energy there. its definately more fast-paced than barra, the beach neighborhood i currently stay in. we´ll see.

juxtapósition

2004-06-15T10:18:00.000-03:00

sidenote: these keyboards are a little different. so, my spelling and such is not totally wack.

somethings in life are much bigger than you think they are while other things are much, much smaller. two examples: the "favelas" and my hotel (which i will call the dollhouse). my plane to salvador left a good 45 minutes late. quite a mess.

sidenote 2: i just tried to cry right now, but no real tears came out. am i fronting about being overwhelmed?

anyway, i missed my scheduled taxi and had to make arrangements for transportation to the hotel. thank the Lord for flate rate taxi service. hol-la!!! my trip into Barra (my new neighborhood) gave me the opportunity to scope out my new home for the next three months. i am completely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of poverty. yet, i feel really bad, guilty even, for placing my american/western values on this place. there are literally valleys of buildings that would not even pass code in the US yet they serve as h.o.m.e for many many salvadorans. i knew to expect this, but i was not even ready!!!

then we arrived at the dollhouse. uh. yeah. not the place i was expecting from the book and especially from their webstie. their website features great, crisp photos of a place that seemingly evokes feelings of warmth, joy, and, well, home. that´s why i chose the place. well, lets just say that the paint is faded. and the rooms are teeny tiny. i am a big girl. curvy and 5´11. i literally dwarf the whole staff. i remember as a young girl playing with my barbie mansion that i wished that i too could play inside the doll house. well, this is my chance.

my room is at the top of a very narrow and high circular stair case. talk about incentive to limit my intake of beer and caiparhinas!!!

ya´ll my ceiling is made of terra cotta. it also is the only thing that seperates me from the rain that is steadily falling as i write this.

elizabth medgyesy wrote the following in this month´s yoga journal magazine: (how does a pilgramage differ from a vactaion?) "the difference is intention. a pilgramage is a vessel for growth, and travel is the most potent form of spiritual growth that is available to us. when we´re at home in a regular day in-day out routine, our feelings, thoughts, and actions are just that. routine. however, when we travel, we get out of our seat of normalcy and that´s when growth occurs. it comes down to releasing control and trying something new."

based on this belief, i am experiencing a shock to my senses (sight, smells, sounds, tastest) and to fully experience the new i must "[let] go of existing patterns".

i will have to let go. have. to. the first step is to accept that i have a super-sparse room in a dollhouse. i accept this room. and i will also honor it. a good thing about sparsity is that i have lots of space. (read: greater than 5 feet 11 inches to practice yoga.)

in transit, part II

2004-06-15T10:08:00.000-03:00

sao paolo airport.

ok why is chaka khan sounding so damn good to me right about now? two excellent reasons: 1. i know what the hell she is saying (although i am a little too zapped to understand it) and 2. i know she looks a lot like me (read: curvy, curly and Black.) everyone here (so far) is so freaking stylish. i swear i have seen two 70plus women still rocking stillettos. here i am in some beat up yet sturdy brown clogs.

SP airport has tons of security, especially with regards to americans. we have a whole seperate line in customs. i thought it was to speed things up. no. it´s solely recipricol treatment to our stupid homeland security act. after you get a photo and fingerprint taken, you have to go right back to the main line.

i had to wait in the "baggage claim" twice. that´s a grand total of 45 minutes idle time. seems as though my bag was not in fact checked from atl to salvador. i didn´t know this until i went through the first time. oy! at least there was a cute 6´2 brasiliero holding line parallel to me.

in transit

2004-06-15T09:36:00.000-03:00

the following is my experience in transit to salvador. fastforward if not interested.

13/06/04 miami international airport.

i am about to freak out right about now. i have gone through two security gates and now my camera is zonked. it won´t do anything!!! granted, i didn´t check the batteries, but they have been working just fine up until now. lord, please don´t let $330 plus go down the drain. have mercy on my camera.

(sigh)

my parents and brother dropped me off at the airport. our trip down was a classic gragg trip, except that we actually left on time. we fought over the temperature. i slept most of the time. mama and daddy fussed and cussed each other. daddy cussed at other drivers. all in fun. i was surprised that we didn´t stop at cracker barrell for breakfast. nonetheless, we did have a bucket of fried chicken and rolls from some random gas station that only my daddy knows. lol. classic.

when we were saying goodbye and exchanging hugs a tsunami-like wave of emotion coame over me. at that moment i wanted to cry like a baby and tell them to take me back home. but i can´t do that. me and my big mouth. wanting to "see the world". this whole thing was inspired by reading the travel essays of langston hughes and the various sisteas in "you go girl" book. yet at that very moment in the airport with my arms around mom´s neck i realized that none of those fools ever really talked about the anxiety that one feels when embarking on a potenntially life changing, mind-altering journey.

at the ticket booth, i almost busted out crying. actually i did shed a couple of crocodile tears. i pretented to have poked my eye. to the ticket lady i said, "oh, shoot. i just got mascara in my eye." i was not wearing mascara, but i didn´t want this lady to think that i am a 28.5 year-old baby.

before my atl-miami flight i went on a magazine spree. i have about nine hours of waiting time on this trip. i bought VIBE (a.k.a Black trash magazine), yoga journal, budget travel, GQ, and kiplingers. i know. i am a certified freak!

while waiting for the two longest hours ever for my flight i dipped into that "who am i" zone. when you were a kid did you ever have a moment of discovering your self like by looking in the mirror and saying "wow! i´m a real person, but who AM i?" maybe it´s just me. anyway, i totally felt like it was my very first time going anywhere. this is not the girl i was two years ago when i averaged at least 4-5 flights a year. must. not. pity. yourself.

the flight to miami was pretty forgettable, although i must make a mental note that american airlines has a decent amount of leg room for us taller folks.

my visit to miami international served as a trial run of being a gringo (foreigner), if oyu will. so many different languages coming from so many different colors of people. i figures it´s going to be very hard for me to not fall for some brasileiro (brazilian man). this one guy,not cute by my standards, made me warm all over with hsi thick brazilian accent. what manly hands. and his deep voice when asking me for my "tee-ket". lol.

his co-workers were not quite as mesmerizing. 1st lesson on brazilians: checking in is a group effort for passengers and staff alike. rather than one or two family members being responsible for checking in, the whole damn family participates. this creates mad confusion becuase if there is a question or problem the whole staff will join their co-worker to answer, negotiate, or explain. needless to say, while checking in at Vargis i had a lot of time to, again become overwhelmed with my new situation.

"oh gosh, i don´t understand this mish-mash!!! how am i going to make it. maybe i should have enrolled in a language program in brazil. oy!!!"

there was a problem with my tickets. two agents were discussing this- in portuguese. i was able to catch and comprehend a few of the mishmash words rapidly flying around me.

seu= her/his or your

pasaje malho!= have a bad trip! (not directed to me, but to an uptight braseliero passenger)

no pode= he/she not able

connecion= connection.

wait! what!?! when agents 3 and 4 (and later 5) joined the group this confirmed that i had a problem with my ticket. rather than offer to help or understand, i did waht any part-time religious person would do...with my eyes up to heaven, i silentely begged the good Lord to "please get my ass to salvador!!!"