flirting

did you know you are invited, encouraged, and (in fact) required to flirt in salvador?*

I learned this last night on a field trip to Pelo (pelourinho) with S and crew. the crew was me, s, her man (h), raquel, julietta and her mama, and a dude named zapata.

we shared a quick, dangerous taxi ride up. from the moment we set foot in Pelo, i felt like i was in a music video. Pelo is one big party every tuesday night. yes. every tuesday night unless there is an even bigger party somewhere else in the city. the festivities include vendors selling beverages and homemade goodies (R$1-3). it also includes a big stage with a band performing as well as drumming groups marching through the narrow cobbled streets of Pelo. so imagine this. Terriero (sp?) de Jesus is this big town square with very european buildings surrounding it. there´s lots of multi-colored streamer like things draped from building to building. music is playing. everybody is laughing, singing and dancing.

h served as the tour guide- telling the history, negotiating drink prices, etc.

we went to this liquor "bar" on one street....

sidenote: the bump on my arm is still here. and there is another one. so, two of the ladies who work here just stole me a way from the computer and literally poured alcohol on my arms. then claudia lit a match and shook her head "no." guess that means i will be healed, but i am highly flammable. ok.

anyway. the liquor bar. it´s not really a bar. bright walmart lighting and only 3x8 feet of space for patrons. however, the couple that owns the place serve homemade flavored liquour (read: they sell moonshine). that shit is strong ok. only thirty cents US a cup (8oz). whew lawdy. for a while the only thing holding me up was the mass of people that had scrunched in the liquour bar seeking protection from the rain.

while waiting for the rain to subside, we had a chat with these guys from olodum (most famous drumming group in brasil). they are stars. i am a star gazer. but i didn´t say anything. just smiled. when the rain stopped we were able to leave and get as far as an art gallery before the rain started again. menelaw sete greeted us at the door. he is so...nice. very nice. here is his website: http://www.ftl.it/sete.html

unfortunately our night ended early due to rain. but it was still a great first night out in Pelo. can´t wait til next tuesday!!!


*Maybe all of brasil but i haven´t been everywhere yet.


-for brentwood, not quite nuthuggers. can´t say the same for the speedo swimsuits. too much information. BEP may have crossed over too much into mainstream. losing authenticity because the focus is materialistically on that girl who shakes it fast and scream sings. and...how was hollywood, sc?

-for claudia, i will buy that cd and dance for you. you can dance to it, right

rio ain´t ready!

my friend from law school bought a ticket today to rio. i will be meeting him there. LOL!!! i hadn´t plan to go to rio, but what the heck!!!

i am going up to pelo for tuesday night events. like drumming, dancing, singing in the streets. i practised earlier with the daughter of the lady who owns the dollhouse. she is such a brat. sweet brat. but brat indeed. we sang and danced until she told me i need to chase her. whatever. i am not a babysitter.

so there is this huge not forming on the inside of my left arm between the elbow and wrist. it shouldnt be a mosquito bite- they aren´t this big. maybe it is a spider bite. of course now i feel "symptoms" although not really. just paranoid. my biggest fear of bugs is that one will somehow enter my skin, settle down, and make an appearance four months down the road. EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

thank the lawd for www.webmd.com

life is so very random

i wasted my afternoon (after working 2 hrs and taking a long walk) watching tv. it´s sooo horrible, yet so entertaining.

i watched this show that had a dancing contest. dirty dancing i might add. at the commerical break they featured this ab swing machine. why did i see my friend on it!!!!! she did this infomercial last year or so. i never saw it while in the states. but sure enough it was janora. her facial expressions and motions are classic. the dubbing made it so much more heelarious.

on my way to look at apartment number one. (crosses fingers).

music

yesterday i purchase three cds. only $20!!! nice.

i bought magarethe. she is a soulful axé singer here in salvador.

i bought Oludum. it´s this big group (in size) here in salvador. they sing about discriminaton and social inequality. of course, i don´t understand most of what they are saying. the music actually sounds happy to me. lots of percussion accompanied by string instruments that make the music swingy- folksy.

i bought baden powell. no, he is not the founder of boy scouts. but he was named after the founder. go figure. he tops the list of guitar players for me (which includes slash and that guy from the chili peppers). his music is the kind of music you listen to on a care-free saturday afternoon when you open up the windows for the world to listen.

while working this afternoon at the internet shop i ran into raquel. so, we went to lunch. she asked me to explain what i do for a living. and she asked lots of questions. this rarely happens to me. most people say, "sooooo...why aren´t you practising law?" lol. we also share an amazement for the types of american films and shows that you see overseas. for example, all the other patrons in the restaurant were glued to the television which was showing a poorly dubbed version of "speed." remember that movie? ugh. i learned in law school that the success of a film or show is often determined by the international market. so if you ever wondered why "bold and beautiful" (a crappy soap opera) is still playing, it´s because it is, in fact, the number one show in Namibia. Seriously. i have a friend that lived there. the show is very affordable to the namibian government. same goes for baywatch. none of us ever really liked bay watch, right? well, they love it in other places. because that´s all they get.

also heavy in rotation is this pepsi campaign with beyonce, pink, and brittany spears. together! lol. hilarious.

tomorrow, i am going to get serious about finding an apartment. i pay the same amount for a month in an apartment that i would pay at the dollhouse in 10 days. not cool.

the real news

ok. every night i have been reading a tarde, which is a big newspaper here in brasil. i usually can do about four articles before i start getting bogged down with translating.

anyway...i read this article and i am pretty sure i got it straight. it said that a hotel in turkey was bombed. four people killed and many injured. my interest in this article is that this hotel is the hotel where president bush was supposed to stay when he visits turkey. according to the article. uh. this is major news, but haven´t seen a word of it on the US news sources that i read on line. WTF!!!!! (what the fuck?).

i dont want to get blacklisted but the gob´ment and media are sooooo shady!!!!

minhas irmãs

minhas irmãs. my sisters.

i returned again to shopping barra today. i HATE malls in the traditional sense. no creativity. in brasil, i would say, malls have are more purposeful. shopping barra has a huge wing dedictated to the government. you have pharmacies. etc. i always (almost) go with a purpose. today i hoped to purchase so nail polish remover, cuticle pusher, watch, sunglasses, and jewelrymaking supplies. mission accompished. well, most of it.

upon returning to the hotel, erida informed me that S stopped by to invite me to lunch. i quickly dropped off my goods and ran back out to the streets to search for her. it´s pretty easy to find S because she is almost always at the beach watching her man. lol. i am always eager to hang out since i dont get too much time with people.

i didn´t expect to find her soooo easy, but she was literally right around the corner from the doll house talking on the payphone. good thing i like to stare at people. me and S met up with three other sistas and headed for a long walk to lunch. there was Raquel (pronounced ha-kell), an afro-brasilian who i think is a career student (linguistics, history, anthropology). Okezi, a black american currently getting her ph.d at g-town. and Rubella (pronounced hoo-bella) and naomi, a mother and daughter from good ole salvador.

we wondered around Barra aimlessly for about 30 minutes. of course we wanted to eat, but we were all so busy talking that we never really decided where to eat. finally i suggested my regular spot. i am ashamed to say i have eaten at picui 6 times this week. what a shame!!!

but its good and convenient.

anyway. we had a nice slow lunch of chicken, steak, salmon, rice, tacky beans, a brasilian salsa, pickled onions, and a malty beer (dark and sweet).

even more delicious than the meal was our conversation. we went around the table and formally introduced ourselves. S actually pointed out that yours truly is "probably the smartest woman at the table." sniff sniff. i dont know what would give her that idea. we talked a lot about afro-brasilian and african-american relations, ignorance, education, raising a non-profit, music... .

of course, the state of "black" relationships (my least favorite subject in the world) came up at the end of our date as we stood in the street waiting to go our seperate ways. sigh.

but definately a delightful afternoon indeed.

pioneer woman

today (and yesterday) is a big holiday in the northeast of brasil. it´s são joão. if i understand correctly it is celebrating the death of saint john. the whole place has shut down. nothing is open. it´s far more closed then crimmus back in the states. i can´t even go to the grocery store. they have some big street party/celebration in pelourinho, but i have a head cold. so, getting mashed by a bunch of people doesn´t seem like fun to me.

ah so, i am spending the day at the dollhouse. all my clothes are dirty. lol. but it costs $5 to wash clothes. i only have $2. and i have no access to an ATM. fortunately i used to be a girl scout (15 years). i found a sample of detergent i received at a restaurant. strung up my braided clothes line. and finally put my pumice stone/nail brush to use. with my hair pulled back in flat twists and my sarong wrapped around me, i stood over my sink and scrubbed scrubbed scrubbed. i felt very purposeful. i thought of my great-granny and my granny frances hand-washing clothes back in the day.

i wonder what they did to keep their mind occupied. did they sing? was it a group effort? i listened to sean paul´s dutty rock. i never realised just how dutty he is. lol.

since their are no restaurants open i can either try to persuade erida to let me put a hotdog on tab or go down to the beach and search for the lady with the 30 cent fried balls stuffed with chicken. hmmm.

vessel

my body is a vessel on this spiritual journey called life.

S and i are taking capoeira lessons from her boyfriend, himundo. capoeira is a ancient martial art/acrobatic dance developed by slaves to combat thier masters. two words: beautiful and amazing! it incorporates so much. from a viewer´s perspective there is the gravity defying turns, jumps, handstands, etc. but also thee dancing looks both ancient and like some modern breakdancing/popping. then there is teh singing, drumming and string instruments that accompany the two fighters in the circle. the actual hitting is only a part of this stuff.

from the perspective of a capoeirista (sp?), so much is mental. like being able to anticipate your apponent´s moves, making your moves all the while staying on beat. lol. physcially you have to be quick and agile. I would also have to say you have to be fearless. when you enter the circle you have to remove the heavy coat of apprehension.

for me this is the biggest challenge. i can remember taking ballet/tap/jazz as a young girl and always feeling awkward. lol. i have to "study" things in order to perform them well. sponteneity (sp?) is not mine. so if a whole bunch of instructions is being thrown out at me i get very discombobulated. total confusion.

himundo is a very patient and encouraging teacher. actually he is almost at teh level of master. wow. through portuguese and sign language he taught me a few basic moves. the most basic is a step called "jenga". i think that´s what it is called. this is a move you do throughout the match to maintain alertness and so forth. what´s cool is that in one school of thought, you actually can/should throw in some dance moves while you jenga. lol. you know like shaking your tail feather.

i also did some kicking. i cant believe himundo let me kick him!! i have a pretty kick. i point my toes. and land delicately. i totally have to work on my balance though. and i have to learn to let go of this fear of looking straight-up crazy. himondo told me "you just have to do it so you focus mentally." that´s right. that´s what intrigues me most about capoeira anyway. the whole mental aspect. i imagine that it is similar to chess or bid-wiss.

we´ll see.

quiet in barra

straight from my hard journal

here it is, the middle of the night and i am awake. i am not necessarily inspired. rather, i can´t sleep. i am having a hot flash. my body has yet to hit equilibrium with the temperature here. i get hot. then i get cold. etc. it´s all good though because it is quite in Barra (my neighborhood).

i was annoyed my first week here because Barra is so freaking noisy. from the hour past sunrise until way late it is normal to hear one or a combination of the following:
a. somebody singing (live) or yelling
b. a cary honking
c. construction work (drilling, hammering)
d. firecrackers
e. barking of a small, bitchy dog
f. barking of a small, bitchy woman (who yells at her man every other night
g. a bus or busses barrelling down my short, narrow street. (trash pick-up is even late- 11 pm!)

so tonight, as early or late as it is, I am noticing that Barra actually gets quiet. sure there are still some noises including the damn buses (sp?), but the overall hum has lowered significantly. all of last week i was pissed because i thought this was the noisiest place on earth. so much so that i reluctantly stuffed my tiny, exczyma-having ears with earplugs every night.

perhaps living in the mountains of NC has spoiled me. during the daytime it is very quiet. lots of birds talk-singing, insects himming, Baby (my much missed dog) barking, the mailmain. at night it´s even more peaceful depending on Baby´s desire to protect us. even the noisy things are noisy such as daddy leaving for work around 1 and the trains, which pass by down the hill every few hours. I feel the trains passing by so closely kind of certifies that i live in the peaceful country.

Barra. different story. remember i dont have a traditional ceiling. these terra cotta slabs do not absorb any sound. Plus i am a light, finnicky sleeper. i complained about the noise to joe when we met. he reminded me of framework, way of viewing reality. he told me that all this noise is the salvadorans. "if someone decides to play their music very loudly with the window and door open, it´s not a problem. and their neighbor may come out and sing with them."

the proud, wise man is right. slowly i have been consciously trying to let go and let it be.

note to self: don´t drink soda when you can´t sleep at night.

international ho

my friend, nenah, asked me to elaborate on what i was describing in the previous entry about people coming here to get their freak on.

i will. but before i do that...

for lunch i had some water, orange soda flavored soda, and some churrasco flavored potato chips. churrasco (sp?) is brazilian BBQ. essentially i had barbeque flavored potato chips, only they are different from the US version. US BBQ chips taste like BBQ sauce that you use when you are either going to make BBQ chicken or just to grill with. these chips taste like they were cooked on the grill. smokey. very interesting trickery on the taste buds especially since i know this is a simulated flavor.

anyway, when i move into an apartment (which i hope to do soon), i can finally make some of those fancy recipes from www.epicurious.com that i have always wanted to make but the ingredients are hard to find or to expensive. you can get so much here fresh and affordable.

so, back to the discussion. i am by no means an authority on this. it´s only what i perceive/witness here and what people share with me. i also read a little abit about it in the magazine. but my sense is that it is a common practice for people to take "sex" vacations here. moreover, this practice accepted in the sense that you don´t sting operations cracking down on prostitution. you dont have like an institution that combats this lifestyle. i mean for the individual (and on some level the state) it must pay off. so... .

this is not the most prevelant characteristic of brasil or even salvador. it should not be indicative of the people here or the people who visit here. it´s just magnified for me right now because i am not used to it. know what i mean?

i have to go because this boy who works at the dollhouse keeps bumping me with his butt. and some new italian guest just lit up a cigarette. ugh!!!

new friend

i finally got to meet up with this friend of a friend of a friend who is staying here in salvador. S just left her cushy job as a litigator (corporate law) in D.C. to live in salvador, run her non-profit, and be with her man. it feels so good to know that i am not the only crazy sister in this world!!!!

from the dollhouse, S and i went around the corner and then walked up a very, very, very, tall, humongous hill. on the way up we exchanged stats. did i mention the hill was tall? she was as impressed and excited about my life alteration as i with hers. from the top we took a quick break to catch our breath. S pointed out all the little neighborhoods and where her man lives. she also told me that i should buy a condo here. $25,000!!! good investment. finally we walked down the hill into a different part of Barra (the neighborhood we live in). so much prettier. we strolled along the avenue chatting, looking at people, and enjoying the warm sun.

we stopped at this outdoor restaurant near the "christ statue" to have lunch. lol. lunch was interesting. we each had caipirinhas- limon for me, some delicious fruity one for S. we shared three crab-like animals. looks mostly like crab. taste mostly like crab. but a less meaty and a bit sweet. we also had some crab etoufee like stuff. very delish. i tried to use my manners while eating but it was quite difficult. those shells were sooooo hard to break. this lady sitting next to me, a dead ringer for lisa bonet (dreads and all), came to my rescue after witnessing my non-savvy attack of the crab. i was so embarrassed that i couldn´t understand what she was saying. so, she grabbed my crab and my crab club (a plastic stick) and began wacking away. obrigada. thank you. that´s all i could say.

on the way back to our part of the neighborhood, S and i talked about the international ho factor. that is this reality of non-brazilians coming to brazil to get their freak on. i knew this existed here and all over the world. what´s more difficult is how obvious and open it is. that´s just a hard thing to accept.

i also got to meet her boyfriend. hmm...he seems nice. he was working on his boat on the beach. S and i pulled up some chairs and lounged for a while. the sun was setting. 4 o´clock! i just enjoyed watching the people enjoy the water. they love the sea here!!!! you don´t just swim in the water you get all wrapped up in it. it´s so beautiful. S has several friends who sell peanuts, fried balls stuffed with chicken, cheese on a stick. needless to say we ate some more and chatted with a variety of people. one guy was excited to share his black eyed peas cd with us. (excuse me while i gag!!!) if you ever wonder why some entertainers, food (i.e. spam), and other products (i.e. fashion fair make-up) are still around, remember there´s another world out there. they eat this shit up!!! they don´t know nuffin´bout mos def (my boyfriend)!!!

then she has this 9 year old friend who looks like a mini-pharrel williams. soooo freaking cute. when other guys would try to talk to us, he told them that we were with him. too cute.

S´s man finally put the boat in the water and invited us out for a ride. i declined. S jumped right in. now that is brave. the tide was coming in and those waves seemed very strong. but S & her man looked so cute, so romantic riding off into the sunset. totally a kodak moment.

i plan to go to the beach everyday now. well, not that particular beach but any other beach will do. S basically told me that i looked like a nun. damn it! all i had on was a t-shirt and a long white skirt. hmmm. well, i guess i will have to pull out the lurvely sarongs chandi made for me.

i have started back to work. on-line mediation. this is a good thing. keeps me productive for 3 hours a day. how many people can say they live comfortably at the beach and work 3 hours a day! it sucks using the internet cafe because i am so particular. i don´t like disturbances such as people who cough all the time or people who peck the keys instead of typing. as if hitting the letter key all that harder will add emphasis to their writing. oh well.

i am on my way to shopping barra. i have no intentions of stalking. i am actually on a mission to purchase some grammer books. i decided i cant afford to take a class. so, i have to learn on my own and just talk to a whole bunch of people for practice.

superficial

joe the ho (just kidding) is not totally wack although my description of him may have sounded like he is. he reminded me to be conscious of the framework within which i interpret and judge things. so as i write i may randomly type FRAMEWORK as a reminder to myself.

superficially speaking i can think of several excellent reasons for travelling to Salvador rather than your regular domestic location. not in any preferential order:
1. everything is very affordable
- $4 manicure and pedicure combos
- $3 steak with two fixins´
- $1 mixed drinks/50 cent beer
- $15 human hair wigs (no i didn´t buy one)
- $1.50 high gloss magazines
- $20/night charming hotels
- $25 hot girl stilettos

2. lots of beautiful people. i am not saying that brasil has a larger proportion of beautiful people because of all the mestizo (mixture). but symetrically speaking there are lots of beautiful people.

3. great weather

4. absolutely beautiful views

5. again, everything is affordable!!!

you can have a totally pampered, educational, epicurean, spend-thrifty, "hot" time!!!

this afternoon i was sooo fucking bored. i went to shopping barra on chandi´s suggestion. actually she said i should strike up conversations with people. i merely stalked people, my new hobby. there was this really beautiful, tall young man. i think he works at the mall (or maybe he too is stalking someone). he definately was not shopping and he was alone. he has tan complected (word?) skin, slightly balding (it´s ok), and he is slender. he has pointy features. he walks with a gate. i think its sexy when a man walks with a gate. not too much though. part of the reason i decided to write about him was because i was bored. the other reason was because i wanted to attract his attention. he knew i was lookng at him. lol. or he might have been under the impression that i am writing about this couple dancing next to him. yes they dance in the mall here.

did i mention that he was a floor down from me? we were also seperated by an entire atrium. i contemplated going to sit next to him and pretend to write about people and then ask him (in a thick american accent) "que hora é?".

sidenote: they have fake ponsettias all over "shopping barra". it is winter. lol!!

while at the mall i also noticed that brazilian men (regardless of their petitness) wear great jeans. great. jeans. perfect accent on the ass. i´d say 85% of the men here have cute asses. many of the men (if not most) that i have seen are petite. thus not physically attractive. however, when focusing on the boom boom... . ass in portuguese is burro, which i think is pronounced buh-ho.

before i left the mall, i purchased two copies of a magazine called brasil raça. very cool glossy. lots of pretty photos. and some good beauty tips (although a little heavy on the pro-weave wagon). there are lots of good conscious articles on health, art, politics, etc. the black US equivelents (essence, jet, ebony, vibe, etc) should take note.

i spent about an hour tonight translating articles. i will try to make this a daily session. i also think i will write the editor after i update. she´s so cool she put her own email address in the mag.

i had a good ole meal for dinner. i ate at a restaurant called Puiçui (i think). Erdidá recommended it. i ate filet mignon with rice and this crumble type stuff that starts with an F. i cant remember the name. anyway, my filet was a thin 6x3 inch piece of tender beef marinated in what tasted like fresh bell peppers and an unfamiliar savory spice. i also had two caiprinhas. i sat outside on the 3rd floor balcony of the restaurant. not too much to see. however, it was quite nice to sit and listen to the sounds of a brazilian rock music and i enjoy the feeling of the pre-rain breeze surrounding me. tudo bom!!!

museum

i went to the afro-brasilian museum today. very simple. very nice. very well put together. basically a local university designed a relationship with governments on a local, state, and national level in brazil with national governments in several african countries such as benin, angola, and etc. the result of this relationship is an abundance of information and a decent bit of artifacts. in typical fashion (of myself) i purchased the entire english version of the museum information. i am my mother´s child.

i learned so much today.

prior to the transatlantic slave trade (where africans were brought to the americas), slave trade was abundant within africa and to other parts of the world mainly the persia and such. trading humans has been around since like the beginning of human life!!! i guess i knew this but solidified it in my head today. by the time i got through the history of trading slaves and to the part about blacks in brasil, my brain was exhausted. the museum did a great job of explaining how everything was made jewelry, masks, weapons, fabric, ceremonial stuff. They also had the most amazing exhibit of wood carvings of the orixas (gods). so freaking beautiful!!!! they were carved into these door sized pieces of wood. the details were, again, AMAZING. i have to call to see if i can come back and take pictures. it only costs $.60 to get into the museum. nice!

ok. time to rest. tomorrow i will be meeting the american girl. we´re supposed to go to a forro. i thought it was a town meeting. but apparently it is a public dance. lol.

the first supper/first caipirinha

i finally ate a meal at a sit down restaurant. i went to this jamaican restaurant in a hotel called hotel quilombo de pelo. the restaurant is a small square room with seven square tables, many ceiling fans (thank the lord), and three floor-to-ceiling windows that open out onto Rua Alfredo de Brito right in the heart of Pelourinho (city center). i actually read about this place in an on-line article from Black Enterprise Magazine´s millenium issue. according to the article this is the only black owned hotel in Salvador, if not brazil.

the first thing i ordered was a caipirinha, which is the national brazilian drink made of cachaça (very, very strong liquor), sugar, and lime juice. i might have left something out. but this is a very good drink. very similar to a mojito. fresh, crisp, and to the point!

then i ordered a meal of jerk chicken, beans and rice, salad and fried plantains (a banana type fruit). while waiting for my meal the hotel owner was brought over by an assistant who is very eager for me to stay at the hotel (they only have three guests right now). his name is joe. joe. what can i say about joe. he is petite. however, he has significant presence. a very serious man that explains everything in life in relation to world history. however, when he laughs his 10 inch smile reveals large white teeth and his head bobbles side to side. and he stomps his right foot very hard to initiate the forthcoming bellow of laughter.

his first (of only two) question for me was "do you speak poruguese?" i answered a little. he went on to analogize language with a plant that is taken from it´s home country and placed in several different places around the world. as each plant grows you will have the same plant but it will take on unique characteristics based on the environment. so forth.

joe talked my head off for 2.5 hours. he even joined me for dinner. i offered him some of my food. but he reminded me that i was in his restaurant. he has plenty of food. just my type of guy. sike. lol.

joe gave me the lowdown on salvador. his version. he also told me that as a black american i have a duty to do more than come here to vacation and get my international freak on (as many people do). i have a duty to engage. uh. ok. we´ll see. i asked him what kinda engaging he is doing. lol. he said that he provides people with opportunity and encourages them. fair enough. i see his point.

the food was definately good. while practising my expert listening skills i silently savored the many tastes on my plate. sweet papaya. tender grilled chicken flavored with jerk seasoning (nutmeg, cinnamon, other stuff). i even noted the green pepper in my salad. given that i was positioned to be a sponge for joe´s rhetoric (read: bullshit), i failed to investigate the pepper further. i quickly assumed that it was a bell pepper. "yeah. we have bell peppers on our salads. why shouldn´t jamaicans in brazil?"

now i am suffering. what´s so bad about this pepper is that it has invisible heat. it doesn´t have a burning sensation. rather, it is a dull pain in my head. in my heart. my stomach. umph.

back to joe. joe is a catdaddy. this is a man whose manliness can woo many women notwithstanding his lack in size or good looks. the assistant that introduced us is so feeling joe. so are the kitchen staff, the other clerks, and this random black lady from america. eww! i had this feeling the whole time we ate dinner that we were being watched. like i was applying to be one of his new girls. they have absolutely nothing to worry about. i am a very smart and skeptical person.

the random black lady was very interesting to me. she has this chopped up way of speaking portuguese. she dined with this fine young man. i hope he is her son, but i think he´s her...ahem...boy toy. sigh. she referred to me as baby. joe referred to her as his "buddy". what.

being the asshole that i can be sometime, i mentioned to joe that i read an article about his hotel, but they really only mentioned his wife. oops. we hit a stumbling block. i dont know if the sister is dead or smart. but she isnt around any more. joe just said "she´s not here anymore" and closed his eyes for a nanosecond. hmm.

when i finally left hotel quilombo i told joe that i will call him this weekend to haggle with him over the price for the room. i think i have set him up pretty good. he knows i ain´t fooling. he informed me that he comes from a nation of hagglers. even so...i ain´t scurred!

the hotness

i think i jinxed myself in talking about the mild weather earlier. it´s a lil bit hot now. (*wipes sweat off brow*)

but more hot than the air are the people here. in preperation for this trip i read that as a tourist you should dress plainly in order to avoid attention. i am learning that this rule does not apply to me.

first of all, i look like these people. the fact that i don´t dress like them makes me stand out. of course this is probably all in my mind. but mabye it isn´t. all the ladies wear a halter top of some sort with skin showing here, rhinestones or a buckle there. and don´t get me started on the shoes. the shoes here are quite ridiculous. i´ve seen jelly sandal stilettos, four inch rubber platform tennis shoe strap sandals. shit. i get nauseuous (sp?) thinking about the shoes. i have a pair of fuschia (not hot pink) linen pants upstairs and some cute heels. i might have to wear that tomorrow on my second tour of the city.

so, i ventured out into the hood today. i dont have a proper map. and there doesn´t appear to be any logic to the layout of the streets here. 1/2 of the streets do not have signs. anyway. i just started walking. i am pretty good at remembering landmarks (thanks k & b). so, if i saw something i recognized i walked towards it. magically enough, i ended up at "shopping barra" which is a big-ass mall. i entered into C & A (they have these in london), which is between family dollar and jcpenny in terms of quality and price. i was hoping to find the bahiatursa, a tourist desk. no luck. i did find a bead store, and a drug store. (i had to some lotion and a comb. my skin and hair are angry with me.)

i wondered around the mall aimlessly for a good two hours. i saw soooo many black people that looked like they could be american. i gave them "that look" that black americans give each other when there are just a few of us around. no luck. i eventually resorted to stalking a couple of people- just hoping to hear an american accent so i can say, "a senhora fala ingles!?! I´m american too!!! Yippeee!!!!" i followed this one lady into the bead store. it took her five minutes to say something. here i am looking at random beads and buttons. nodding & grinning at the sales ladies when they say stuff to me. finally she exclaimed something in very strong portuguese. sigh.

then i followed this man in a more posh department store. he looked like a young version of my uncle tommy. it didnt take long for me to learn that he was a security guard. he smiled at me. cute thing. he probably thought i was trying to shoplift.

ah so. another night in the dollhouse. i am going to call those people and beg them to take me out to dinner, a bar, or something. if i am not successful, i will be writing a short story and having doritos for dinner.

random

i have been doing 1.5 meals a day. so far. i am trying to avoid the inevitable traveller´s diareha (sp. is wrong. sorry). i ordered pizza from the pizzaria down the street from the dollhouse. it was quite a challenge speaking with the girl who took my order. in salvador i try so hard to fit in and not look like a toursit. i walk fast. don´t look around (thus, hiding my awe). this usually works until i open my mouth. i stumle a lot. my 1.5 months with lily, the tutor, goes out the door! the waitress was very kind and patient. she even thanked ME for having a dictionary. at least i think that is what she said. lol.

anyway, i ordered the portuguese pizza without knowing what it consists of. the only other choice was "pizza americanha", which is a more safe choice. but i am no sell out. portuguese pizza has oregano, cheese, some kind of thin ham, corn and eggs. large pizza with 2 liter coke not quite $5!! cheap. mental note to self: just say "sim ovas?"

while waiting for my pizza i journaled. this has been very enjoyable to me. i thought about my first sunset in salvador. the sunset over the bay was very beautiful. it looked so perfect. i can tell that salvadorans are at one with the ocean. no show about going to the beach. it´s come as you are. i saw plenty of handsome tan, brown, dark bodies with wet kinky, curly, or straight hair.

i also thought about the nice staff at the pousada, especially this lady i call "speak-quick". she talks so fast. i often nod my head "yes" and follow up with "como", which basically means, "huh?" she and i watched soap operas last night. pretty hilarious. very dramatic. well, i guess the language seems more dramatic to me as compared to southern english. whereas we speak very flat and drawn out. (well, i don´t but...) this language is very tonal (?) and compact. lol. confusing for me.

i have to leave the dollhouse. soon. i swear a bus zooms by every five minutes at most 24/7. couple that with all the other noise (dogs, people, planes, sporting events, firecrackers) and i get no sleep. (*yawn*)

despite this, i have to admit that the dollhouse has grown on me. it does have nice hardwood floors- wide slabs, multi-tonal. there are not a lot of furnishings, which allows for simplicity of the mind. simple traditional brazilian lace curtains that partially cover the large windows throughout. lots of light gets in. there are several rocking chairs in the house. i would venture to say they are made of that famous brazilian cherry, but that would be a guess because i don´t actaully know what that looks like. the rocking chairs are nice to lounge in, especially on the front porch where there are lots of plants and people to watch.

i´ve spent several hours on the rooftop pato next to my room. the floor consists of huge tiles. there are two showers, a patio table for dining, and a hammock. the view from the patio goes straight up. all you can see is the sky and a few high rises. i am not the kind of girl who will just chill out in the elements for very long. however, the weather here is perfect. mid-70´s and very little humidity. and, most importantly, no squiters!!! that is..no mosquitos. just an occassional ant.

my room has a bed, dresser, and nightstand of the same wood as the chairs downstairs. nice red brown. the bed actually has a headboard, which i dont think i have ever had. modern and sleek. there´s a rug covering a portion of the floor. and two black cushion-like chairs that can be unfolded into small beds (long enough for me). i took pictures of the dollhouse. however, i am not yuet understanding how to upload my pics to a virtual space and then post them on this blog. so, if you want to see the photos either email me at obrigadabrasil@yahoo.com or leave your address at this blog.

today i plan to follow up on some recommendations from my good friend from law school who lived in recife for a total of two years. i also got some pointers from this friend(k) of a friend of my friend, TW. K has visited salvador very often AND!!! she has a friend who is here now right around the corner for me. i. am. so. hype!!!!
by the way...obrigada means thank you. just in case you were wondering.

high

at breakfast this morning i had some meat and cheese with bread. the bread offered is very bready. so i had to eat small pieces of it. i then tried some traditional brazilian cake that has cornmeal in it. very similar to pound cake in sweetness and density. but this stuff can´t touch my granny´s seven flava cake!!!

i also had some brazilian coffee with brazilian sugar. whew, lawdy!!! i wanted to jump out of my skin. i was sooooo hyper. this shit is very very strong. and the sugar is ver sweet. one teaspoon to our tablespoon.

so after eating and being on the interenet way pass the allotted thirty minutes, i had to come to my room to take it down a few notches. first i tried nappng. that took about two minutes. then i went outside to MY patio. it´s not really my patio, but i only have to step outside my door and voila!

i listened to the entire album "nina simone´s finest hour". nothing like a little nina to make you chill out and think deeply. i swear the US needs a song like "misssissippi goddamn" to get the people to wake up and see what´s really going on.

from the dollhouse´s rooftop patio i could see the expansive blue sky with interruptions of an occassional puffy white cloud and the few high rise condos that neighbor the dollhouse.

my first entries in this blog have caused some worry for a few people, especially my immediate family.

B & K, please don´t worry. i am just fine.

The tricky thing about public journals is finding balance in sharing with people you know who are reading it. this is my real perspective, my feelings. sharing this experience with people i know would not be nearly as enjoyable if i had to consciously ensure airbrush the not-so-joyful things. at the same time i realize that my outward persona tends to be stoic (read: limited expression of emotion), especially with regards to my family. i also tend to exude a lot of confidence. wanna know my secret? i´ll sell it to you for four easy monthly payments of $19.99. LOL!!

anyway, if you are reading this and you know me (or think you do. just kidding) please don´t worry. i definately know how to ask for help, especially when i am broke.

K & B, you know that i do have a lot of experience travelling and such. each time i travel a part of me is travelling for you because you didn´t have the same opportunities that you gave me. a part of me (which fluctuates in size) also feels the same fears and such that you may feel for me. these feelings are as much of my experience as seeing a 15th century church or meeting someone to whom i am connected by six degrees. i hope this makes since. smile.

by the way. good news on the camera. it was left on or turned in on the bag. batteries died. hol-la!

quero saber a verdade

quero saber a verdade=i want to know the truth

this afternoon i took a tour of historic salvador. when the small bus arrived to pick me up i was warmly greeted by Wilson, my petite dreadhead strong-lisp having tourguide.

on the tour i saw the following:

farol do barra: a light house built in the 1300´s. it is part of a series of "forts" built on the bay to protect the first capital of brazil, salvador, from invasion. it´s very old looking.

forte santa maria another one of the forts (there´s 13). the portuguese built all the forts on the Baia de todos os santos (bay of all the saints) to protect the city from invasion. they mistakenly did not protect the Atlantic coast of salvador under the assumption that the high embankments would serve as a barrier to the Cidade Alta (upper city). the dutch proved them wrong. they hired some pirates to do the dirty deed and ruled the area for 1.5 years. i guess the dutch were not as nice as they are now. :)

elevador lacerda this is a very tall elevator that connects the lower city with the upper city. at the base of it is the "mercado ____" (forgot the rest). but it´s the slave market. hmph. the elevator is powered by electricity, although it was previously powered by steam and before that, slaves. it´s really tall, ya´ll!

sidenote: wilson insists that i can understand portuguese. he also gave me props for naming all the membrs of Tribalistas, a popular bahian music group. (*pats self on back*)

ride up to Pelourinho: on the way up to the upper city we passed the first mcdonalds. in true bahian form, it is an open-air mcdonalds. we passed through a posh neighborhood with a posh name, victoria corridor. imagine quaint colonial homes with huge-ass high rise condos behind each one. wilson pointed out some mystical gigantic tree, but the english description came long after we passed it and the hotel where michael jackson stayed. Salvador is forever in love with MJ. (this is evidenced by the plethora of jeri curls and references to spots where michael has been).

catedral basilica: this old church was actually built with segments shipped directly from portugal. the style is baroque (sp?), which i don´t qyite understand. while it supposed to be the city´s most beautiful church, i say it is quite ugly. way too much gold. but i guess that was the style back then-- gold plated humans, vegetables, and pelicans. yes. pelicans. the pelicans represent Jesus because (under dire circumstances) they feed their offspring with their own flesh. most interesting about this church is the asian influence. the portuguese and dutch made an agreemetn that the dutch would be nice and not invade again. part of this aggreement was also to end the trade of slaes between the countries. the churches, down to the most intricate design, were built by the africans. so this aggreement effected an artist crisis in bahia. chinese artists were brought in to finish the job. so, there are some dragons and saints with slanted eyes located throughout the church.

igreja são francisco: yes another church. this one actually got me energized. no. i didn´t catch the spirit. lol. são francisco is a catholic saint. he used to be a rich man, but he gave up all his mone to...be holy. i guess. anyway, this church is totally ostentations (read:very overdone.) 80kg of gold. i don´t know how much that is but it sounds like a lot. there is a statue at the front of alter of são francisco and jesus hugging. this is considered special because the two never actaully met (differetn time periods) and also because it symbolizes the uniting of catholocism and christanity. i don´t really understand it, but that sounds cool. what was really fascinating was the histor of the construction of the church. again, it was built by africans. teh plan was to allow the africans worship in a very small, undecorated room with no view of the church. many would not even be allowed to attend the church because they still practised their african religion. this upset the artists so much that they did things to ensure that the church would always have an african presence. they used ebony would in many areas (color of their skin). the cherubs (baby angel like people) had huge erect genitals. (the church had to ask the pope permission to remove them.) many angels were made to appear pregnant. there is also a statue of christ with his back to the congregation. he is supposed to be looknig out to the poor people and turning his back to the wealthy church. what is so amazing to me is that the 15 or so artists who beautified this church felt so passionately and strongly about their treatment and recognition as humans, they sacrifised their lives. their punishment was 200 lashings at the pelourinho (whipping post). they definately won, though because this church is now so beautiful.

pelourinho: this is also known as the city center. the city´s oldest architecture is here as is lots of beautiful art and music. i can see myself overdoing it with the art here. i will have to have rotating exhibits at my house. wilson assured me that i can buy art much cheaper from the artists themselves. the school of oludom is also in this area. this is a very, very famous drumming group. they were in a michael jackson song/video for some song i don´t remember. but a recent example of this drumming style is snoop doggy dogg´s "beautiful" video at the end. hopefully i will get to see them perform soon.

igreja rosarios dos pretos: this is the church that the slaves built for themselves. there is a mixture of catholocism and candomblé practiced at this church. candomblé is a yoruba religin. hopefully i will learn more about it. the africans beautified this church by sneaking gold and jewels from their masters in holow saint dolls and in their hair. lol.

after visiting the 2nd church i became inspired to really learn about bahia. i mean there is so freaking much here. so much history and...i don´t know. sutff. i pulled wilson aside and asked him if he was sharing everything on this tour. he acted like he didnt know what i was talking about. so i asked him if i could hire him for a tour of the real salvador. none of the touristy crap. i wanna know the real deal man!!! he felt me. so much so that he said he would give me a tour for free. now this is good for yours truly. wilson can be my way into salvador. and maybe even the state of bahia. the whole tour we kept running into people who know wilson. one fellow tourist even commented that wilson should be on city council. plus he really knos his stuff, which is helpful because i ask a lot of thoughtful questions. lol. i´m the girl who is always at the head of the tour group wth my hand ready to be raised. i told wilson i will be here for three months. "oh, i have an extra room. you can stay with me.". yeah. ok. no! now i noted mentally that the Salvadorans have a demeanor very similar to Southern (US) culture in that people speak to strangers ("everything alright with you?") and offer assistance without hesitation. however, wilson´s offer of a room is just plain ole suspect. thanks but no thanks.

pelourinho is where i need to stay. i could feel really good energy there. its definately more fast-paced than barra, the beach neighborhood i currently stay in. we´ll see.

juxtapósition

sidenote: these keyboards are a little different. so, my spelling and such is not totally wack.

somethings in life are much bigger than you think they are while other things are much, much smaller. two examples: the "favelas" and my hotel (which i will call the dollhouse). my plane to salvador left a good 45 minutes late. quite a mess.

sidenote 2: i just tried to cry right now, but no real tears came out. am i fronting about being overwhelmed?

anyway, i missed my scheduled taxi and had to make arrangements for transportation to the hotel. thank the Lord for flate rate taxi service. hol-la!!! my trip into Barra (my new neighborhood) gave me the opportunity to scope out my new home for the next three months. i am completely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of poverty. yet, i feel really bad, guilty even, for placing my american/western values on this place. there are literally valleys of buildings that would not even pass code in the US yet they serve as h.o.m.e for many many salvadorans. i knew to expect this, but i was not even ready!!!

then we arrived at the dollhouse. uh. yeah. not the place i was expecting from the book and especially from their webstie. their website features great, crisp photos of a place that seemingly evokes feelings of warmth, joy, and, well, home. that´s why i chose the place. well, lets just say that the paint is faded. and the rooms are teeny tiny. i am a big girl. curvy and 5´11. i literally dwarf the whole staff. i remember as a young girl playing with my barbie mansion that i wished that i too could play inside the doll house. well, this is my chance.

my room is at the top of a very narrow and high circular stair case. talk about incentive to limit my intake of beer and caiparhinas!!!

ya´ll my ceiling is made of terra cotta. it also is the only thing that seperates me from the rain that is steadily falling as i write this.

elizabth medgyesy wrote the following in this month´s yoga journal magazine: (how does a pilgramage differ from a vactaion?) "the difference is intention. a pilgramage is a vessel for growth, and travel is the most potent form of spiritual growth that is available to us. when we´re at home in a regular day in-day out routine, our feelings, thoughts, and actions are just that. routine. however, when we travel, we get out of our seat of normalcy and that´s when growth occurs. it comes down to releasing control and trying something new."

based on this belief, i am experiencing a shock to my senses (sight, smells, sounds, tastest) and to fully experience the new i must "[let] go of existing patterns".

i will have to let go. have. to. the first step is to accept that i have a super-sparse room in a dollhouse. i accept this room. and i will also honor it. a good thing about sparsity is that i have lots of space. (read: greater than 5 feet 11 inches to practice yoga.)

in transit, part II

sao paolo airport.

ok why is chaka khan sounding so damn good to me right about now? two excellent reasons: 1. i know what the hell she is saying (although i am a little too zapped to understand it) and 2. i know she looks a lot like me (read: curvy, curly and Black.) everyone here (so far) is so freaking stylish. i swear i have seen two 70plus women still rocking stillettos. here i am in some beat up yet sturdy brown clogs.

SP airport has tons of security, especially with regards to americans. we have a whole seperate line in customs. i thought it was to speed things up. no. it´s solely recipricol treatment to our stupid homeland security act. after you get a photo and fingerprint taken, you have to go right back to the main line.

i had to wait in the "baggage claim" twice. that´s a grand total of 45 minutes idle time. seems as though my bag was not in fact checked from atl to salvador. i didn´t know this until i went through the first time. oy! at least there was a cute 6´2 brasiliero holding line parallel to me.

in transit

the following is my experience in transit to salvador. fastforward if not interested.

13/06/04 miami international airport.

i am about to freak out right about now. i have gone through two security gates and now my camera is zonked. it won´t do anything!!! granted, i didn´t check the batteries, but they have been working just fine up until now. lord, please don´t let $330 plus go down the drain. have mercy on my camera.

(sigh)

my parents and brother dropped me off at the airport. our trip down was a classic gragg trip, except that we actually left on time. we fought over the temperature. i slept most of the time. mama and daddy fussed and cussed each other. daddy cussed at other drivers. all in fun. i was surprised that we didn´t stop at cracker barrell for breakfast. nonetheless, we did have a bucket of fried chicken and rolls from some random gas station that only my daddy knows. lol. classic.

when we were saying goodbye and exchanging hugs a tsunami-like wave of emotion coame over me. at that moment i wanted to cry like a baby and tell them to take me back home. but i can´t do that. me and my big mouth. wanting to "see the world". this whole thing was inspired by reading the travel essays of langston hughes and the various sisteas in "you go girl" book. yet at that very moment in the airport with my arms around mom´s neck i realized that none of those fools ever really talked about the anxiety that one feels when embarking on a potenntially life changing, mind-altering journey.

at the ticket booth, i almost busted out crying. actually i did shed a couple of crocodile tears. i pretented to have poked my eye. to the ticket lady i said, "oh, shoot. i just got mascara in my eye." i was not wearing mascara, but i didn´t want this lady to think that i am a 28.5 year-old baby.

before my atl-miami flight i went on a magazine spree. i have about nine hours of waiting time on this trip. i bought VIBE (a.k.a Black trash magazine), yoga journal, budget travel, GQ, and kiplingers. i know. i am a certified freak!

while waiting for the two longest hours ever for my flight i dipped into that "who am i" zone. when you were a kid did you ever have a moment of discovering your self like by looking in the mirror and saying "wow! i´m a real person, but who AM i?" maybe it´s just me. anyway, i totally felt like it was my very first time going anywhere. this is not the girl i was two years ago when i averaged at least 4-5 flights a year. must. not. pity. yourself.

the flight to miami was pretty forgettable, although i must make a mental note that american airlines has a decent amount of leg room for us taller folks.

my visit to miami international served as a trial run of being a gringo (foreigner), if oyu will. so many different languages coming from so many different colors of people. i figures it´s going to be very hard for me to not fall for some brasileiro (brazilian man). this one guy,not cute by my standards, made me warm all over with hsi thick brazilian accent. what manly hands. and his deep voice when asking me for my "tee-ket". lol.

his co-workers were not quite as mesmerizing. 1st lesson on brazilians: checking in is a group effort for passengers and staff alike. rather than one or two family members being responsible for checking in, the whole damn family participates. this creates mad confusion becuase if there is a question or problem the whole staff will join their co-worker to answer, negotiate, or explain. needless to say, while checking in at Vargis i had a lot of time to, again become overwhelmed with my new situation.

"oh gosh, i don´t understand this mish-mash!!! how am i going to make it. maybe i should have enrolled in a language program in brazil. oy!!!"

there was a problem with my tickets. two agents were discussing this- in portuguese. i was able to catch and comprehend a few of the mishmash words rapidly flying around me.

seu= her/his or your

pasaje malho!= have a bad trip! (not directed to me, but to an uptight braseliero passenger)

no pode= he/she not able

connecion= connection.

wait! what!?! when agents 3 and 4 (and later 5) joined the group this confirmed that i had a problem with my ticket. rather than offer to help or understand, i did waht any part-time religious person would do...with my eyes up to heaven, i silentely begged the good Lord to "please get my ass to salvador!!!"